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Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

NBA Jam Preview: Bulls, Pacers, Nets and Cavs

We’ll keep the NBA Jam preview rolling. If you need a reference: check out the original post here.

Past Team Previews:

Chicago Bulls

Current Players: Derrick Rose, Luol Deng, Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer

Legends: Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman

It should be no surprise to any moderately-avid gamer that Jam is released sans-MJ. Jordan has kept himself from most mainstream video games,  and Jam will lack His Airness due to Jordan’s commitment to NBA 2K11. Needless, that does not keep the Bulls from being able to court a top-notch squad. Rose dishing the rock, and plug in anyone else for a good time.

Best Twosome: Derrick Rose and Scottie Pippen

Indiana Pacers

Current Players: Danny Granger, Mike Dunleavy and T.J. Ford

Legends: Detlef Schrempf

No Reggie Miller to do (more) contract difficulties. Schrempf is back from the original, but Reggie’s crotch-grabbing threes will be surely missed. The Pacers are falling towards the bottom of the Jam remake spectrum, here. No great inside presence, either (where’s Roy Hibbert?)

Best Twosome: Granger and Schrempf, if only to ironically listen to the Band of Horses song, detlef schrempf simultaneously.

New Jersey Nets

Current Players: Devin Harris, Brook Lopez and Courtney Lee

Legends: Drazen Petrovic and Kenny Anderson

Perhaps the Nets will get Carmelo Anthony. Perhaps the rosters on Jam can be updated. Until this speculation is confirmed, the Nets are the Nets. There is some glimmer, however. The addition of Drazen Petrovic (rest in peace) could lead to some enjoyable gameplay.

Best Twosome: Drazen and Brook Lopez

Cleveland Caveliers

Current Players: Mo Williams, Antawn Jamison and Anderson Varejao

Legends: Mark Price and Brad Daugherty

We know, we know. No LeBron here. Read about him in my preview of the Heat coming up. Hopefully, for Cavs fans, Jam submitted Jamison’s abilities well before his poor showing last year. I’m sorry, The Decision was just so ridiculous it’s ruining video games in my brain right now. I’m sorry, Cleveland. Brad Daugherty was a neat guy?

Best Twosome: Jamison and Daugherty

Let’s wrap up the East in a couple of days! Then on to the West!

Kyle

Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.

Kyle

One thought on “NBA Jam Preview: Bulls, Pacers, Nets and Cavs

  • Avatar
    September 23, 2010 at 12:55 pm
    Permalink

    A couple of things real quick:
    1) The Pacers are a disaster. Lacking an inside man, how about The Dunking Dutchman Rik Smits?
    2) How fucking sad are the Cavs that their best players from days past are Mark Price and Brad fucking Daugherty. I’d rather have Daughtry on my team.

    Reply

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