NBA Finals Preview
The NBA Finals kicks off tonight, and even if you’re lazy and don’t read this post until after Game One, you’ll surely get to it in the next few days, and its relevancy will assuredly remain. There are a lot of back stories and subplots taking place with this series; let’s take a look at some of them.
Post Game Press Conference Attire
The Heat and Thunder have been on a back and forth, Wes Anderson / Zooey Whatever inspired, unofficial clothing competition. Who will be the first person to put lenses in their glasses? Who will have the most obscure reference on their shirt? Who will wear a Groucho Marx mask? Who will most closely resemble a member of TV on the Radio?
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How Are We Going to Blame LeBron for Something?
If the Heat are able to win the NBA Title, we are going to be forced to find other things to blame LeBron James for. ‘Decline of the US Economy’ and ‘Nickelback existing’ are just a couple of suggestions I’m throwing out there.
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What’s in James Harden’s Beard?
My theory is a pair of thick framed glasses.
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When Will Chris Bosh Cry?
It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Literal dinosaur Chris Bosh has become infamous for his crying spat after last year’s Finals, and we can only predict when his tears will make a cameo appearance. My prediction: Bosh rewatches Pixar’s Up! before a game and cries within the first fifteen minutes. And you cannot blame him.
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What is in Kevin Durant’s Backpack?
Comic books and a jogproof CD player.
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Who Will Win the NBA Title?
Less important than any of our previous topics, and only relevant if the outcome is highly controversial, leading to a literal fistfight between Stephen A Smith and Skip Bayless.
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This post was written by Kyle. You can follow his jokes on Twitter: @kyleayers
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