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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

My Hunger Games

I truly think I am the only Korked Bats writer who feels talking about The Hunger Games qualifies as talking about a sport. It’s a sport in two ways actually.

1. When you are reading the books, you will know exactly what I am talking about. Reading the books has turned into my favorite sport. I do a quick warm up with reading short stories, like The Princess and the Pea and Rumplestiltskin. I make sure that I have enough water and bananas to get me through the tough spots. I get up early and stay up late. I time myself per chapter. I set goals and knock them out one at a time.

2. I have never thought about my ability to survive in a post apocalyptic world, until now. I mean, I am strong. I am Irish. I have done two half marathons. I have peed my pants in order to keep running. And I have shared more than enough information to my reading audience. I think I could survive in the arena for at least the first night.

Most importantly, I learned that I need to be better at nerd sports. No offense, but all the sports that nobody watches during the Summer Olympics are actually the ones that will get you through The Hunger Games in case your name got called in the Reaping.

1. Archery

2. Bowling

3. Ping Pong

4. Wii Fit

5. Pole Vaulting

6. Shot Put

7. Javelin

8. Rock Fighting

9. Running from Fumes

10. Swimming

11. Jumping through fire

12. Eating human flesh

13. Not really eating human flesh, calm down.

14. Eating rabbits

15. Making fire

16. Zumba

17. Tie knots

18. CPR

I have to get busy. So if you invite me to a party, don’t be worried that I am in the backyard hunting the neighborhood squirrels and making a nice stew. Just be glad that I will be able to help you survive in the post apocalypse world.

See you in the future.

(I’m talking to you Peeta.)

(Fine, and you too, Gale.)

The odds are in my favor.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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