Mel Kiper Jr. Excited For His Day of Work This Year
As the NFL Draft approaches, ESPN payroll leech Mel Kiper Jr. is growing more and more excited about actually having to go to work this year. Kiper, who apparently lists his profession as “Draft Expert,” “Draft Analyst,” or “I Can’t Believe ESPN is Paying Me To Guess Things,” spends most of his year saying things out loud that everyone else already knows, with absolutely no chance of repercussion.
Kiper has been bringing ESPN and ESPN.com his guesses as to who teams will take for years now, and has been selling them as “insights”: telling people the right or wrong answer to what a bunch of professional sports teams they don’t care about.
“Three hundred and sixty four days a year I just sit around and know what teams are bad at football.”
Kiper gave a look behind the scenes of his life outside of draft day,
“Then, when it’s finally the day of the NFL Draft, I actually have to leave my apartment, head to Radio City Music Hall, and see whether or not all of the stuff I guessed it right or wrong or whatever. It’s really nice, having something to do other than acknowledge that the Colts will probably take Andrew Luck.”
“Most days I just sit in my underwear and watch the Kardashians.”
When asked about whether or not he thought his job was a waste of time and money, Kiper became defensive:
“Whoa whoa, it’s not like I’m Todd McShay.”
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