Make Mucho Money! Here Are Gator’s Best NFL Picks On The Internet – Week 11
After our first losing week of the year, we were able to bounce back nicely with a 8-5-1 record in week 10. That takes our record to a lot of wins and not too many losses (I’m not great at math and lost count). Although we were winners, week 10 proved to a real jerk. Tom Brady didn’t collapse like predicted, The Browns somehow beat the Texans while only putting up 10 points, and finally the Eagles are an absolute dumpster fire (yet still in first in the NFC East). Whatever. Week 11 is here and we’re dumping Week 10 like a bad habit. Time for the picks.
Cardinals @ Seahawks (SEA -3)
Wow! Did anyone see that Cardinals game? I missed it, but heard there was a great ending or something! Anyways, now the NFC West is up for grabs and Thursday Night Football has never looked better. All of sudden, Russell Wilson is no longing cooking, and the real MVP candidate is on the opposing team. Very interesting match up, but ever since that one guy made bat soup and gave us all COVID, I don’t trust chefs. For that reason alone, I’m going against Chef Russ and taking the Cardinals.
PICK: Cardinals 31 Seahawks 28
Titans @ Ravens (BAL -6.5)
Seriously what is going on with these two? A rematch of the biggest upset in the playoffs last year sees both teams sputtering at the turn of the season. At this point, they’re both in position for a wild card berth, but a loss here could put either team’s playoff fortunes in jeopardy. I’ve got a lot of questions for both of these teams. Is this bad turn karma for Tennesee’s cavaleer attitude towards COVID earlier in the season? Did people put the Madden Curse to bed a little too early? Who knows? However if I have to choose I’m taking Jackson over Tannehill.
PICK: Titans 20 Ravens 28
Lions @ Panthers (CAR -1.5)
In the “blah blah blah who cares” game of the week, the Lions square up with the Panthers. Neither of these teams are exciting. Neither of these teams have an remote chance at making the playoffs. Neither of these teams are bad enough to be fighting for a top pick in the draft. So there’s literally no reason to care unless you have a few smeckles on either side. Whatever, let’s give this one to the Panthers.
PICK: Lions 24 Panthers 28
Steelers @ Jaguars (PIT -10)
The Steelers are undefeated at 9-0, the Jaguars have lost 8 straght. On paper, this looks to be another blowout. However, they don’t play the games on paper! They actually play on grass for those unaware, and sometimes fake grass called turf. The Steelers might just go 16-0 barely scraping by crap teams until eventually losing to the Chiefs in the playoffs. I think the Steelers win, but the Jags cover.
Pick: Steelers 27 Jaguars 21
Patriots @ Texans (NE -2.5)
Don’t look now, but the Patriots could still go 11-5 if they win out…. Yes, it’s highly unlikely, but if anyone could pull it off it would be the evil empire that is the Patriots. The Texans are in full tank mode at this point, and wouldn’t be surprised if they shut down Deshawn Watson shortly. With all that said, I think the Patriots claw back to .500 with a win in H-Town.
PICK: Patriots 30 Texans 24
Eagles @ Browns (CLE -3.5)
Sometimes it is extremely hard to be an Eagles fan. People have been wondering why the Eagles offense has looked so lost this year. Besides the injuries, I have a hunch. THEY DON’T HAVE AN OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR. You heard that right, at the beginning of the year, Doug Peterson decided not to hire one and instead have an offensive brain trust of coaches. At the time it sounded like a horrible idea, and now it seems like the worst decision a coach has ever made. However, the Eagles are still in first, and after tbey beat Baker’s Browns, all will be forgiven… Until next week.
PICK: Eagles 24 Browns 20
Falcons @ Saints (NO -5)
In some of the best news of the week, Jameis Winston is once again back on the field ready to gobble some W’s. Look, it’s a bummer to see Brees go down with an injury, but we all need some Jameis in our lives. Now that he can see, will he stop throwing 8 interceptions a game? Will he stop being caught stealing crab legs? This game intrigues me for a number of reasons, I want Jameis to win, but if he looks bad, we could see some Taysom Hill. Hmmmm…. Tough choice. I’m gonna say Saints win but Falcons cover.
PICK: Falcons 28 Saints 31
Bengals @ Football Team (WAS -1.5)
It’s been a strange season for the Football Team, after spending some time on the top of the NFC East, they spent some time at the bottom, and now they’re somewhere in the middle. The first pick of the Draft Joe Burrow has had a strange run too. Also it’s his first year so he doesn’t even know the Football Team used to be called the R**skins! When you put everything on the table, you’re left with a confusing mess, just like both of these teams. For whatever reason, I like the Bengals in this one.
PICK: Bengals 30 Football Team 27
Dolphins @ Broncos (MIA -3.5)
We broke up with Herbert just in time to start a promising relationship with Tua! Sure he doesn’t put up gaudy numbers, but he gets the only thing that matters in the NFL, wins. Also have you seen Justin since we dumped him? Talk about gross. I don’t wanna put anyone down based off of looks, but it’s clear we’re doing much better in the breakup. Obviously we’re going with our boy Tua to put up another win.
PICK: Dolphins 34 Broncos 23
Jets @ Chargers (LAC -8.5)
Talking about our ugly ex, he gets a dream matchup against the winnless Jets at home. The Jets are one of the worst teams I’ve ever seen take the football field. Most people predict that they’ll go 0-16, but that’s a really hard feat. Even the worst teams usually find a game or two where they can pull off an upset win. Guess what, that win comes this week! We hate you Herbert! Go Jets! Do it for our healing hearts!
PICK: Jets 27 Chargers 25
Packers @ Colts (IND -2)
This is such a fishy line. With the mess out West, it seems as though the Packers are the best team in the NFC. Yes the Colts have a great defense and just came off a big win against the Titans, but they should not be favored here. I can just picture Aaron Rodgers picking up his copy of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal, flipping to the sports section, and boiling with rage at reading that his team are underdogs against the Colts. This is not good news for the Colts. I’m taking the Packers big.
PICK: Packers 31 Colts 16
Cowboys @ Vikings (MIN -7)
Out of nowhere, the Vikings are making a mad dash up the standings after a dreadful 1-5 start. The Cowboys didn’t lose last week which is an improvement, but that only occurred because it was their bye week. One of great joys of 2020 has been how horrible the Cowboys have been. Yes, life is tough, but it’s a lot tougher for those cochroaches who call themselves Cowboys fans. That doesn’t change as the Cowboys get smoked in Minnesota.
PICK: Cowboys 14 Vikings 31
Chiefs @ Raiders (KC -7)
Over a month ago, the Raiders shocked the world by going into Kansas City, and beating the champs. Fast forward to Sunday, and I don’t really give them a chance. Yes the Raiders seem to be on their way to making the playoffs, but the Chiefs are the undisputed best team in football. I’m hoping the Raiders keep it close, but they wont.
PICK: Chiefs 35 Raiders 24
Rams @ Buccaneers (TB -4.5)
I’m so tired of Tom Brady. I had a lot of cats growing up, and although I love dogs, cats are honorable creatures. Why? For the most part, they sense when they’re about to die, and walk into the woods and find a nice shady spot to move on from this world. I thought that was what Brady was doing with his career when he moved to Tampa, but instead they’re right in the middle of the playoff hunt. So annoying. Nothing worse than an old man who just won’t go away. #BrettFarve.
PICK: Rams 38 Bucs 34
