Lust For The Ladies

We all know by now that most women are into chiseled male bodies. And most of us regular civilians know that the only people who have the chiseled bodies that are so desperately desired by the female gender are athletes… and Abercrombie workers. Let’s be honest with ourselves, athletes, both pro and college, workout religiously to stay in shape for their sports. Let’s continue to be honest, we try hard to keep that same workout religion. The only difference is, when we miss a workout we don’t get fined or punished.

When we miss a workout, we get to stay at home and watch reruns of King Of Queens on TBS. And can you blame us? The tandem of Kevin James and Ben Stiller’s dad makes for one of the best comedic duos in all of television sitcoms. So it’s hard to make that decision of spending thirty minutes on our overpriced Tony Little’s Gazelle working our abdominals or spend that same amount of time working on those same muscles by keeling over laughing every time Kevin James gets himself into a dilemma.

However, gentlemen (and unfortunately to ladies) there is hope. There is one professional athlete that says, “I bid you good day,” to the ever so common workout. He sends defined muscles out the door and does not look back. He leaves chiseled bodies for the covers of romance novels. A man who says, “I play a professional sport, but I choose to look like the average American a skinny American.”

And that man is, none other than, New York Giants quarterback, Eli Manning.

Eli, thank you for having the most average looking body in all of sports. Not to mention, you’re boyish good looks and “happy trail” really help us look a lot better to our girlfriends. You are the Rachel Dratch of the NFL. You are doing your part to not discriminate the average Joe from professional athletes, and to that we, again, say thank you.