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Lust For The Ladies

We all know by now that most women are into chiseled male bodies. And most of us regular civilians know that the only people who have the chiseled bodies that are so desperately desired by the female gender are athletes… and Abercrombie workers. Let’s be honest with ourselves, athletes, both pro and college, workout religiously to stay in shape for their sports. Let’s continue to be honest, we try hard to keep that same workout religion. The only difference is, when we miss a workout we don’t get fined or punished.

When we miss a workout, we get to stay at home and watch reruns of King Of Queens on TBS. And can you blame us? The tandem of Kevin James and Ben Stiller’s dad makes for one of the best comedic duos in all of television sitcoms. So it’s hard to make that decision of spending thirty minutes on our overpriced Tony Little’s Gazelle working our abdominals or spend that same amount of time working on those same muscles by keeling over laughing every time Kevin James gets himself into a dilemma.

However, gentlemen (and unfortunately to ladies) there is hope. There is one professional athlete that says, “I bid you good day,” to the ever so common workout. He sends defined muscles out the door and does not look back. He leaves chiseled bodies for the covers of romance novels. A man who says, “I play a professional sport, but I choose to look like the average American a skinny American.”

And that man is, none other than, New York Giants quarterback, Eli Manning.

Eli, thank you for having the most average looking body in all of sports. Not to mention, you’re boyish good looks and “happy trail” really help us look a lot better to our girlfriends. You are the Rachel Dratch of the NFL. You are doing your part to not discriminate the average Joe from professional athletes, and to that we, again, say thank you.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

4 thoughts on “Lust For The Ladies

  • Avatar
    December 7, 2010 at 4:13 am
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    I thought the NFL had a requirement about players going through puberty first before they played? Will someone please get Eli some steroids so his chest hair growth can catch up with the rest of the league.

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  • Avatar
    December 19, 2010 at 12:44 am
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    Um. LOL. The guy who wrote this is kinda utterly clueless because, news flash. Us girls LUST after Eli. We wanna marry him, make babies with him, and anything else he’d have in mind.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    January 15, 2012 at 8:05 pm
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    True Story Jessica! He sure did look man enough for me today when he nd the NY GIANTS beat the PACK!!!! I LOVE YOU ELI!! <33

    Reply
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