What’s up in sports right now?
Dirk Nowitzki. That’s what’s up.
Now Ladies, I don’t want to hear it about how “ugly” this man is.
I don’t want to hear it about how he “sometimes looks like a hamster”
I don’t even want to hear about his previous decisions to date a lady that looks like the Geico Commercial Cave Men.
I don’t even think it would be necessary to talk about the fact that his goatee is poorly groomed at best.
And that sometimes he just needs to tuck his sideburns behind his ear for a little while.
Let’s talk about the fact that he is from Germany.
Thus being Bi-Lingual.
Thus having access to all of the chocolate in the world.
Thus probably having a pair of laderhosen just laying around waiting to be worn.
Let’s talk about the fact that he is 7 feet tall.
Let’s talk about how you never have to stand on a chair to reach that can of chili ever again.
Let’s talk about the amount of heel you could get away with.
Let’s talk about how when Dirk Nowitzki puts on a pin striped suit, gets a haircut, and holds a trophy,
how much more dateable he seems.
Dirk, after the Ladies Room readers read this, your email box is going to be blowing up. You’re welcome.