List Of Things You CAN’T Do In The NFL

List Of Things You CAN'T Do In The NFL

Yesterday, Roger Goodell announced that the league is banning  goal post dunking and football from football, because it’s been more than a week since Roger Goodell has done something to make the professional level of the game of football worse.

  • Dunking on goal posts after touchdowns
  • Using the ball as a prop after touchdowns
  • Spinning the football
  • Dancing with teammates
  • Dancing by yourself
  • Dancing with Roger Goodell’s wife
  • Diving into the endzone
  • Bellyflopping into the endzone
  • Tackling a quarterback high
  • Tackling a quarterback low
  • Tackling a quarterback
  • Thinking about tackling a quarterback
  • Returning kickoffs
  • Signing Tim Tebow
  • Punching a referee
  • Kicking a referee
  • Looking up a referee’s address and waiting outside his house until he comes home after a game
  • Living, Laughing, Loving
  • Wearing your socks too low
  • Tucking up your jersey under your pads to show off your abs like they did in the 80’s
  • High-fiving after a touchdown
  • Smiling after a touchdown
  • Breathing after a touchdown

 Things You Can Still Do In The NFL

And here is a list of things that are still legal.

  • Driving drunk
  • Killing someone either with knife and/or car
  • Doing drugs
  • Dealing drugs
  • Dancing With The Stars
  • Walking back to your sideline without doing anything after scoring a touchdown
  • Cutting a player (after training camp)
  • Cutting a player (after a locker room fight)
  • Jump-stop layups on goal posts after touchdowns
  • Paying fines
  • Charging fans to watch Browns games

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.


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