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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Let’s Break Down That Mighty Ducks Reunion Photo

EW has learned exclusively that most of the stars of the original Mighty Ducks movies are returning for an episode of the upcoming Disney+ revival series. The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers will feature the massive reunion in episode 6, featuring characters from all three films including Elden Henson as Fulton, Matt Doherty as Averman, Vinny La Russo as Adam Banks, Marguerite Moreau as Connie, Garret Henson as Guy, and Justin Wong as Kenny Wu.

via Entertainment Weekly

Look at Disney just casually dropping the ultimate WANNA FEEL OLD? meme of all time. As we all know Disney+ is getting ready to milk this (mighty) duck for all it’s worth by rebooting the franchise into a TV series. At first thought, I felt like it was going to be a lazy attempt at a cash grab, with nothing other than the mom from Gilmore Girls now being a mom in this show. No thanks.

But now that Entertainment Weekly is reporting that the original cast will make an appearance in the show, you have my attention.

So when this photo dropped, you knew we were going to blog about it. From Goldberg’s return from drug addiction to Chris Nester’s 9-part Mighty Ducks 4 proposal, we cover all things Quack Attack.

That was so lame.

Let’s just break this thing down from left to right.

Connie

Ahhh, Connie. Gotta love Connie, right? I mean, what a babe. Not just in this trilogy, but in Wet Hot American Summer too.

Guy

Interesting to see Guy not only appear at the same reunion as Connie but stand right next to her. If you remember, Connie and Guy dated through most of the franchise, and I’ll admit, the sexual tension remains strong in this photo. But it’s surprising to see, especially after this photo surfaced.

Yup. You’re seeing that correctly. Connie getting handsy with Dwayne. And… hold up… Kenny Wu tied up in the back so he wouldn’t spill the beans of this immoral affair?!

As soon as this photo surfaced, I’m sure Guy was pissed and wanted to immediately call things off with Connie, but didn’t. He probably decided to keep things civil at least through the end of high school at Eden Prairie Academy for the sake of the team and only that. That’s why things seemed so normal in D3: The Mighty Ducks. Then right after high school, Guy went to a small private college, on a partial scholarship. Dwayne moved home to work on his family’s ranch. And Kenny couldn’t even stand close to Connie at the reunion. Probably because he was terrified of being tied up again.

Fulton

Compared to what he used to look like, Fulton now looks like one of those albino deer.

Fulton back in the ’90s:

Fulton today:

Coach Gordon Bombay

More like Coach Gordon Filet.

Look, I know everyone gets thicker with age, but it appears my man took too many trips to that botox well. And this is photoshopped! All I’m saying is this former junior hockey disappointment is not doing much to dispel my theory that he’s actually just Ellen Degeneres trying to come back after being cancelled last year.

Adam Banks

Ok, damn Adam Banks. I see you. This is the only Duck who looks like he can still lace ’em up. Hell, I know the Nashville Predators could use him. They need an elite goal scorer. Wouldn’t be the first time he’s switched teams either. It’s just ironic how he was originally bullied for being a cake eater, and now he looks like the only Duck who hasn’t eaten cake in years.

Kenny Wu

Woo, woo, woo, Kenny Wu! Love the fact that this dude shows up in the second movie, and yet he’s rocking that O.G. throwback as if he knew Gordon Bombay was he was still an alcoholic lawyer. But I respect it. Hell, the Ducks don’t win the Junior Goodwill Games without Kenny Wu’s figure skating prowess.

Les Averman

Yup. Les Averman is the only guy who looks exactly how I expected him to look at this age. A lot of people think Greg Goldberg was the comedic lead in this franchise, but the real ones know the best zingers and one liners came from Averman.

Also, gotta respect the bold choice to rock cargo shorts in 2021.

People I’m bummed didn’t make the photo..

Julie “The Cat” Gaffney

I mean, if you want to play, you gotta show up. How does she even expect to beat out Goldberg by not even being present?

Goldberg

The last year of Goldberg’s life have been pretty well documented on this blog.

https://korkedbats.com/2020/09/11/the-best-mighty-ducks-news-youll-hear-today-goldberg-the-goalie-is-sober-and-has-new-teeth/

Obviously, we didn’t expect him to be ready for an acting comeback. But we’re just stoked to see him making a comeback in life. This guy was legitimately close to dying and now here he is over a year sober and kicking ass. Nobody can stop Goldberg The Goalie.

Young Gordon Bombay

Can’t believe one of the Mighty Ducks nearly died from a meth addiction and yet, he didn’t have the weirdest 2020 of the movie’s cast.

Enter young Gordon Bombay:

https://korkedbats.com/2020/10/01/in-the-wildest-headline-of-all-time-a-mighty-ducks-actor-is-a-presidential-candidate-tied-to-jeffrey-epstein/

Oh, and he’s still running for president.

Charlie Conway

Pretty sure he’s the only one who went on to have a successful acting career after this franchise. Probably only because he was the coach’s (step) son.

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Here are some other photos from the reunion to wet your pallet.

Look, allow this blog to be a painful reminder that we all get older, fatter, and sometimes still wear cargo shorts 20 years after they went out of style.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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