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Let Me Be Frank With You…

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There’s a time and place for everything.

And halftime of an NBA basketball game in which your husband is a part of is not a good time to serve him divorce papers. However, as captured by the screen shot above, that is exactly what Gilbert Arenas’ wife, or I guess ex-wife, did last Thursday. This woman is evil. According to Arenas, she is currently receiving $20,000 per month in financial support (where do I apply for that job?) but wants more. Yea, she deserves it. Not only that, Gilbert claims she killed his pet sharks out of spite.

The more I hear about this witch of a woman the more I realize Arenas was probably ecstatic when she handed him those papers. And even better, he wont have to go through the whole Valentines Day ordeal. That’s right, Gilbert. You may now eat that 100-count heart shaped box of Russell Stover chocolate you purchased last year on clearance at Walgreens. Give her the nasty ones with pink filling.

Apparently, people in India are funny.

I have never before been able to confirm this fact because I never know what they are saying, but a recent ad by the Indian company Shivam Deep Sleep Mattresses has told me all I need to know. Yes, they can be funny. In case you cannot figure out what you are looking at unless I explain it to you, you have a problem the ad features Tiger in deep sleep on an Indian mattress without sheets dreaming of the hussies he has spent intimate times with. Is that Elin in the green blanket? Probably not. Notice they are all white.

And to think, I can barely run 1 mile.

I hate running because I’m bad at it and it makes me feel like my body is slowly failing when I reach that 1 mile benchmark. I feel like I’m too fat to run. Well, I’m obviously just a little powder puff pansy because that 410 lb. man claims to have run a marathon (26.2 miles) when he was 430 lbs. and is planning on running another. But this time he will bring the fine folks at Guinness Book of World Records with him. That’s right, Arizonian sumo wrestler Kelly Gneiting will run the L.A. Marathon on March 20th. The current “record” for heaviest person to run a marathon in 275 lbs. set by Rosie O’Donnell. Just kidding, she can’t run. But that is the record. Good luck Kelly Gneiting. I’m not half the man you are, literally.

Here’s a Super Bowl commercial you may have missed.

And that’s probably because it never actually aired. It features who I believe is the funniest man on TV right now Daniel Tosh. Watch it, unless you respect the WNBA.

Does everybody realize Pat Summitt’s son plays for UT?

I feel like this isn’t made fun of enough. He’s obviously horrible. He’s as ugly as his mother. He plays on a court named after his mother. And he used to play for his mother?

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As always, if you have any ideas for future posts or just come across something funny, please shoot me an email at Frank@KorkedBats.com.

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