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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Let Me Be Frank With You…

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Randy Moss plays for the Tennessee Titans.

I’m not kidding. He actually does. You may have forgotten this guy even existed. As pathetic as it sounds, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day the Titans signed Randy. I was in total shock and couldn’t stop blabbing about it all day. I got butterflies every time they showed him on ESPN with a Titans logo next to his face. I couldn’t wait to hear his first interview. The Titans were 5-3, and with the addition of Moss, were poised to make a playoff push.

Here we are 7 games in to the Moss era. The Titans have gone 1-6. Moss has 5 catches for 62 yards. That opening interview was the last time he’s talked to the media. And I could be mistaken, but I believe he did not step foot on the playing field in last week’s loss to the Chiefs. Whyyy? Is Justin Gage really that much better than Randy “Straight Cash Homie” Moss? Well, at least we still have this.

Speaking of Tennessee…

The Titans should probably just pack it up and call it an utter disaster a season.

Want a good indication that the Tennessee Titans organization is a debacle right now? While standing on the frigid sidelines of Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday, Titans defensive end William Hayes was concussed after a good sized, leather, hollow object struck him in the side of the head. Not surprisingly, it was an errant ball thrown by AA Member AARP Member 67 year old quarterback Kerry Collins. Yep, it’s time to pack it up boys. Future ex-head coach Jeff Fisher had this to say:

“I’ve never had a player leave the game with a concussion after getting hit with the ball on the sideline. “

Yes, he really said that.

Governor Ed Rendell must read Korked Bats.

If you remember last week’s LMBFWY, I wrote about a high school wrestler who is charging a fellow wrestler for sexual assault after performing a wrestling move in practice. I talked abut the “wussification” of America and how people need to stop being so sensitive and just deal with things. Well, as most of you have probably heard, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell had similar comments after Sunday’s Vikings vs. Eagles game was postponed creating the first Tuesday night NFL game since 1946.

“My biggest beef is that this is part of what’s happened in this country,” Rendell said in an interview on 97.5 radio in Philly. “I think we’ve become wussies. … We’ve become a nation of wusses. The Chinese are kicking our butt in everything. If this was in China do you think the Chinese would have called off the game? People would have been marching down to the stadium, they would have walked and they would have been doing calculus on the way down.”

I couldn’t agree with you more Mista Guvna.

Here’s two things that I’ve never seen before.

This first video is of a free throw attempted by everyone’s favorite college basketball team, Idaho State. The ball literally sits on the front of the rim for an extended period of time. It seems I find this much more amazing than everyone in that gym:

This next video features Peyton Manning scrambling. Unbelievable:

Announcement: People from the North, you’re not cool because you are used to snowy roads.

For all you people that live in the southern states like myself, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Whenever we get a decent amount of snow causing people to stay off the roads, there’s always “that guy” who just thinks its the funniest thing in the world how all these people aren’t used to snow and take precaution. Yea, we get it. You used to live in New Jersey where you’d get 20 inches on the reg. You know what else? I’m willing to bet my entire collection of Teenie Beanies that your state/county/city put a tad bit more funding into the road clearing/salting department. You’re not as big of a rough outdoorsman as you think. I hope you get into a fender bender the next time you think ice doesn’t affect you. And I hope it really annoys you and ruins your week.

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As always, if you have any ideas for future posts or just come across something funny, please shoot me an email at Frank@KorkedBats.com.

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