This guy not only wears pink. He wears man-purses. And he steals them.

The guy who coached Seaton Hall’s Mens Basketball team was arrested yesterday for shoplifting a $1,400 man purse (or as Allen would call it, a satchel). His name is Bobby Gonzalez and his reputation may never fully recover. Gonzalez apparently jacked the “hand bag” from the Polo store in a New Jersey mall and was caught by a 20 year old hostes at a nearby restaurant who, no joke, had this to say, “If you went on (Microsoft) Word and put in ‘surprised’ and looked at the synonyms, he was any of those.” Wow, this story keeps getting better and better. If you need proof technology is making people dumber each and every day, there you have it. I wonder if that girl has ever seen an actual Thesaurus. Roget probably rolled over in his grave when he heard that.

I guess this guy lost.

Before reading this, please watch the PSA I so kindly embedded into this post for you. Then click here. I bet all you Georgia Bulldog fans are proud. When hired in 2003, Damon Evans became the first black AD in the SEC and at 34, the youngest. This week he also broke ground as the dumbest after being arrested for DUI in Atlanta. This story gets worse and worse. Evans is a married man. When he was pulled over, there was a girl in the car with him. She wasn’t his wife. Damon also had something in his lap when the police came to his window, that girl’s red panties (or at least we assume they were her’s, but after the whole man purse incident in New Jersey you never know). Evans has since resigned.

This is such a dumb story.

In further unfathomably ridiculous criminal news, world famous hot dog eater Kobayashi was arrested over the weekend at the 2010 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest after attempting to storm the stage. Kobe wasn’t able to compete in this year’s contest because he failed to secure a contract with the MLE, Major League Eating Association. I wish I was making this up for the sake of humanity, but I’m not. If you’ve watched ESPN since Sunday, I’m sure you’ve seen the video. If you haven’t watched ESPN since Sunday, I can’t blame you. In my opinion, this is about as dead as the sports world could possibly be at the moment. College football can’t come soon enough.

Chuck Norris, you may have met your match.

By day, this 77 year old woman teaches school at Fairhaven Primary School in South Walsham. By night she’s a DJ. Just kidding, but do you remember those commercials that had the guy who said, “By day I’m a computer programmer. By night, I’m a DJ.”? Probably not. Anyway, she actually is an expert in martial arts and has recently become the first lady to ever reach the seventh dan in Spirit Combat International ju-jitsu (whatever that means). Even though I do not know what that means, I do know it scares me. Ever since seeing the Are You Afraid of the Dark? where the old woman in the apartment complex tries to break into these kids’ room I have been deathly scared of old ladies. No word yet on who this “Rex” guy is who tags his name under the bottom right corner of all her pictures.

Austin & I had a website about 8 years ago.