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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Let Me Be Frank With You…

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Hey ESPN, give Griffey a break.

So, I’ve been watching a small amount of ESPN late afternoon programming today (I missed Around the Horn and PTI because Marcellus Wiley seriously put me to sleep on Jim Rome Is Burning, which I will get to in a moment.) Anyway, speaking of sleep, Ken Griffey Jr. apparently fell asleep in the clubhouse in the late innings of Saturday’s game and ESPN is treating the story with such seriousness you would think he got caught doing crack cocaine off of home plate during the seventh inning stretch. One player told the Tacoma News Tribune, “He was asleep in the clubhouse. He’d gone back about the fifth inning to get a jacket and didn’t come back. I went back in about the seventh inning and he was in his chair, sound asleep.”

Big whoop, wake the guy up. The bigger story here is what was Seattle Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu doing pinch hitting with Ken Griffey Jr.? He’s batting .205 this year with 5 RBI and 0 home runs. Were Edgar Martinez, Joey Cora, and Jay Buhner not available?

Hey ESPN, while you’re at it, refrain from letting Marcellus Wiley sit in for Jim Rome.

Before I say anything of relevance, let’s take a moment to fully appreciate what Macellus is wearing in the picture above…phenomenal to say the least. But you want to know what isn’t phenomenal? Marcellus Wiley attempting to host Jim Rome Is Burning. I don’t see a reason to ever watch Jim Rome Is Burning, but If you ever get the chance to catch an episode where Marcellus is guest hosting, quickly dismount your television, drop it on a hard surface, and proceed to take a sledgehammer to that thing until a fine powder is formed. He’s that bad. Between each interview question stooping to the “how does it feel to be…” level and his horrendously forced “Jim Rome” attitude, there is not single thing that I can think of that would make ESPN feel he is a capable host.

Seriously, can anybody guard this guy?

Fresh off an unfathomable 29 point, 13 assist, and 18 rebound game, Boston Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo, who is a little over 6 feet tall on a good day (depending on whether or not he ate his Wheaties that morning), has drawn the ire of Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James who has since stated he will be guarding Rondo now instead of Paul Pierce. Rondo is quickly passing Tayshaun Prince as my favorite player in the NBA (see, I’m not biased towards any particular college team) and his recent dominance has me interested in the NBA for the first time since Penny Hardaway and Shaquille O’Neal were in Orlando. Something about this story has “pick up basketball” written all over it. This is probably because I am usually the Paul Pierce of this situation, so to speak, in that after a few possessions the guy guarding me realizes he is wasting his divine defensive effort on a below average player and decides to switch it up. It always makes me feel good inside.

Every umpire should be like Norm.

I love baseball and think its a grand sport, but there is just something innately boring about watching it on TV sometimes. My ADD kicks in in about the second inning each time I try to watch a game and I often convince myself watching the highlights on Sportscenter is a much better alternative to the pitch by pitch viewing approach. Then I came across this video and immediately realized baseball would be so much more entertaining if all plate umpires officiated the games like this. Is anybody with me? No? Crap…

I ain't happy
Look at this fish.

I know this is unbelievably irrelevant, but the Celtics game is on now and I still have a fifth topic to talk about. So here you are, pictures of the funniest looking fish you’ll ever see. Its a Blobfish and inhabits the deep waters off the coasts of mainland Australia and Tasmania. I’m still trying to figure out who this thing looks like.

The Blobfish

One thought on “Let Me Be Frank With You…

  • Avatar
    May 11, 2010 at 11:53 pm
    Permalink

    Its a miniature Jabba the Hut!

    Reply

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