Let Me Be Frank With You…

It’s the middle of the week, which means today I’d normally be posting my usual “Let Me Be Frank With You…” article being over opinionated and ruthlessly making fun of deserving victims. Or if I didn’t feel like I had that much to say I’d just tell everyone who I think has the best mustache in all of sports or who the ugliest person in the world was. Not today my friends. Today I have one thing and one thing only on my mind. Korked Bats is headed west and are bringing you along for the ride!

We’re obviously not actually taking you. We don’t like you THAT much. But Austin & I along with the phantom guy who tweets under the name @KorkedBats (who is that guy anyway? I’ve never even met him.) will be keeping all of those who aren’t with us updated on our every move via Twitter so you can live vicariously through us as we make the trek to Hollywood and beyond. Austin has been a Twitaholic over the past year or so often tweeting 58 times a day, but I must admit, I’m new to all this so it should be fun.

Without further ado, I present to you:

Friday, March 26 – Saturday, April 3

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Since this is a sports blog and driving across the country hasn’t been named an official sport yet, I figured I’d start out with something Sportcenter likes to do from time to time, “By The Numbers”. Here goes:


Grown men piled into the small to midsized family sedan pictured below.


Hours will be spent in that sexy sportscar just getting there and back (according to MapQuest).


Miles round trip from Columbia, MO to Los Angeles to Las Vegas and back to Columbia.


States will be graced with our presence. (Actually 13 for me since I’m the random guy who doesn’t go to Mizzou and has to go through Tennessee, Kentucky, and Indiana just to get to the starting point.)


Dollars per person for lodging in the fine establishments pictured below.


Nights with beds/floors.


Nights where driving will prevent us from stopping to sleep.


Varmints we fully intend on ending the lives of with our tires.


Times Austin will play “Beautiful Stranger” by Madonna on his iPod. Each time lessening my enjoyment of life.


Mission: Finance the trip with the money we win in Vegas.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Continuing with this sports theme I’ve got going on here, here’s my game preview:

Starting Lineup

Austin, Frank, Joelsph, Cam, Spencer

The Car

2000 Nissan Altima

This sleek and sexy automobile oozes with class and dependability with an abundance of leg room and cargo space easily accommodating 5 grown men for 52 hours.

First Half

25 hours 45 minutes

First Venue

America’s Best Value Inn – Hollywood, CA

Four Nights at this resort style 5 star hotel fully equipped with air conditioning AND color TV!

Second Venue

Riviera Hotel & Casino – Las Vegas, NV

Two nights at a slight downgrade from the America’s Best Value Inn. However, I WILL win money here.

Second Half

22 hours 4 minutes

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Want to join us in our journey? Twitter has you covered. Follow us!




2 thoughts on “Let Me Be Frank With You…

  • Avatar
    March 25, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Frank – you forgot one number: getting to Columbia by driving through Indiana and not Illinois – Priceless!!!!

    I’m a little concerned if you’re doing the driving/navigating on your adventure – make sure you head towards Kansas City and not St. Louis…….

    Big Rod

  • Avatar
    March 25, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.


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