Let Me Be Frank With You…

The Nets won last night.

Not much else to say about this. The title pretty much speaks for itself. Just read it and appreciate how rare last night was. In other news, expect in the very near future pigs flying, hell freezing over, the Olympics holding your attention for over 14.2 seconds, women’s athletics becoming relevant, someone other than Will commenting on a post, Lane Kiffin experiencing at least one season that could be considered a success, President Obama creating positive “change”, Carrot Top becoming bearable, and me getting a job. Speaking of the Olympics…

Seriously Lindsey Vonn, take a Tylenol.

My goodness woman. You’re in the Olympics representing the greatest country in the world, Amurrica, and every time I look at the bottom line I’m forced to read about your bruised shin possibly keeping you from competing. Your bruised shin. Unreal. I’d love to see you whine about your bruised shin to this guy.

North Carolina has some random seasons.

Let’s see here, in the past decade UNC has posted records of 8-20 (’01), 19-16 (’02), and currently sit at 14-12. Also in this decade they have been to three final fours and won two national championships including last season. How do you do that? I’m not even mad. That’s amazing.


Move over Lou Gehrig, Sebastian Janikowski is now the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

Imagine being overweight, ugly, having a horrible name, and all you do is kick field goals. Literally, that is all you do. Then imagine getting paid $16 million to satisfy those conditions for 4 years. Real cool, Sea-Bass. You lucky son of a Polish immigrant.

We have GOT to question Jake’s sexual orientation.

To be 100% honest with you, I’ve only watched 5 minutes of The Bachelor in my life (Austin Tivo’s it. I have proof.), and all 5 of those minutes were on Monday night. My reason for watching was to see if Tenley would be eliminated as I unintelligibly predicted in the brand new Korked Bats Pick ‘Em Challenge. Good cover up right? Anyway, Jake, the “Bachelor” chose to give the boot to the above pictured creature sent from heaven above, Gia. And I’m not positive on this, but there are reports surfacing that he didn’t even call no homo afterwards. And Vienna looks like a man. Yep, Jake’s gay. And I am too, for watching The Bachelor.

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