LeBron Is Still Verified Because Elon Musk Is Paying For His Twitter Blue Subscription, Is Desperate For Friends

Personally, I don’t get the move. The previous regime of Twitter did all the legwork to verify these accounts and now you’re just erasing all that work because those people don’t shell out $8? Why the hell do regular Twitter users need to know what users pay for the site? It’s so counterintuitive and pointless. But then again, so is owning a company that makes flame throwers, I guess?

Now it should be noted, that we at Korked Bats are subscribed for Twitter Blue and actually were even before Elon took over. Solely because it gives us the ability to post videos longer than 2:20 in length, which most of our original videos are. But you can still hit us with the “this MF’er pays for Twitter” memes because it’s ridiculous that we do. And trust us, you can’t subscribe to Twitter Blue and also opt out of having that annoying check mark. We checked. Pun not intended.

When everyone’s blue check went away, it was awkward to see which celebrities still had one. Many people – including us – pointed out that, despite saying he’d never cough up the $5 per month or whatever, LeBron James was somehow subscribed to Twitter Blue.

That blue check used to mean a sign of prestige and/or notoriety. Now it’s nothing but a Scarlett letter, branding you as a complete sucker with your money. Why in the world would anyone want a blue checkmark that tells the world “I pay for this website.” Who in the hell cares and/or wants to broadcast that?

And I get it, Elon’s trying to make some money. Get some cash flow back into a company that has had its fair share of struggles filling the piggy bank. But this master plan of his to take away everyone’s blue checks didn’t really accomplish what he had hoped.

I mean hell, LeBron James, the NBA’s all-time leading scorer and one of the highest-paid athletes in the history of spherical balls refuses to drop the $8/month on the service.

But that’s when the owner, Elon Musk decided to foot the bill for LeBron on this one.

Wow, good one, E. This is like a restaurant owner comping someone’s meal they didn’t even order. And then giggling to himself in the kitchen. I know this is Elon’s boring attempt to troll, but it also gives off vibes like he’s trying buddy up with LeBron. And why LeBron of all athletes? Why not at least foot the bill for athletes who still want that blue social merit badge.

This feels like Elon trying to buy some friends. This reminds me of a “friend” of mine in college who drove a BMW and always wore Vineyard Vines in the pre-SEC days of Mizzou. This is a guy whose parents footed the bill for everything, and he flaunted the hell out of it. He was kinda douchey and a bit of a dick at times, but we put up with him because he would always buy us Taco Bell every weekend. Why? We have no idea, but when you’re in college and someone offers to pay for your fast food tacos, you let them pay for your fast food tacos.

Elon Musk is the guy paying for everyone’s fast-food tacos. Only he’s not in college. He’s a grown-ass man, which only makes it sadder. Now look, this isn’t a political blog. I know Elon has become somewhat of a political lightning rod. If you hate him, you’re clearly on one side of the aisle, and if you love him, you’re on the other. This isn’t that at all. He just annoys the hell out of me because he has single-handedly destroyed my favorite social media platform. Was Twitter hemorrhaging money before he took over? Of course. Is it still hemorrhaging money since he’s taken over? Well, probably if we’re being honest. But his changes on the platform have made it inherently worse. That’s simply where the disdain for that dinkus comes from. Trust me, we care about Elon’s politics as much as we care about Randy Johnson – which is to say we don’t. However, Elon and Randy do have one thing in common: they both destroy birds.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.