Today is the beginning of BASEBALL SEASON. If you are a fan of baseball, this is great news. If you are not a fan of baseball, then hold on to your butts, it’s going to be a long 16-month season. If you are like me, and think that the baseball season is just three months too long, I’ve made a quick list of ways to make it through the wilderness.
Things to look forward to in Baseball Season:
Hot dogs being socially acceptable to eat in large quantities.
Actually buying peanuts and cracker-jacks, and not caring if you ever get back.
Wondering whether or not your favorite baseball player did steroids over the break or just a lot of push-ups.
Having a group of ghost baseball players hang out in your corn field.
Jokes about Albert Pujols’ name. (This is pronounced P00-Holes)
There isn’t a women’s baseball league… yet.
(but if there is a draft, and all you boys are at war, I’m picking Madonna first)
Looking at a schedule for baseball can feel like you’re looking at The Bachelor’s dating schedule, but if the season of The Bachelor lasted ten extra months depending on the playoffs. So many dates. So much time. So much Chris Harrison.
P.S. And if you have never seen the best Star Spangled Banner Song performance please take a minute to watch the magic.
P.P.S. And I use the term magic loosely.