Korked Bats Pick ‘Em – Week 6

Four under-qualified competitors. Five games a week. First to 50 wins. And that is all that matters.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •




March 22 – 28

Pick the 4 Final Four teams.


Name the highest grossing movie for the weekend.


[PICKS: OHIO STATE, SYRACUSE, KENTUCKY, DUKE, HOT TUB TIME MACHINE] “Ok… I’m seeing a trend here. Whenever I go 5 for 5, I suck the following week. Last week I went 2 for 5. But heck, at least I’m still in first place. Honestly, I feel like I’m playing basketball with a bunch of fourth graders. I’m not very good at basketball, but against kids that are smaller and not as talented as you, of course you are going to do amazing.

This week we are going for the Final Four teams. I like this idea since I hate my bracket and this is sort of a chance to start over.

However, before I pick, I need to pay credit to where credit is due:

Mr. Ali Farokhmanesh

The man that single handedly put kU away last Saturday. As a product of the University of Missouri. I thank you. You also help make it easier for my Final Four pick of Ohio State to make it out of the Midwest Region.

The West Region for me is the hardest. I like all of those teams to make it to the Final Four. (If only it were the “Final Three Plus All Four Final Teams Standing In The West Region”… But it’s not.) I think I am going to go with Syracuse. I almost went there for school and they have a great lacrosse team. So with that insight, I think they will make it to the Final Four. I originally had Pitt coming out of this region, but they kansased.

kansasing: (n.) choking in the NCAA tournament

From the East Region, it’s Kentucky. No question.

From the South Region, I still like Duke. I have Duke winning it all in my bracket (like I said, I don’t like my bracket). So I’m going to stick with the Blue Devils.

As for our fun pick of the week… I can’t sit here and tell you that I have honestly heard anything about “How To Train Your Dragon”. Apparently it’s in 3-D! Technology! I did Google it, and it has a lot of good voices for it. But I think the name alone will steer people clear from it. Plus it’s Dreamworks… Not Pixar. I’m going to go with Hot Tub Time Machine for two reasons. It looks very funny and I love movies about time travel: Back to the Future 1, 2, and 3, Donnie Darko, and Titanic.

P.S. If you are planning on seeing How to Train Your Dragon this weekend, don’t. Go see HTTM instead!”

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

[PICKS: TENNESSEE, XAVIER, KENTUCKY, BAYLOR, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON] “Put me back at the 2 spot world. Looks like grammar school got it two-thirds right. First is the worst (Austin sucks), Second is the best (Chip is awesome), and third is the one with the hairy chest… Well, Frank and Jared can’t actually grow chest hair… or facial hair… probably not pubes either. But that’s beside the point. Normally I would do a little research and get serious about these picks. However, since not one person in the US has correctly picked the sweet sixteen (fact), I’m just gonna flip a Thomas Jefferson $1 coin and attempt to justify the results. Third President = Very Hairy Chest

Tennessee – No joke, it actually picked my boys. Looks like Evan Turner and the ugly white boys of N.Iowa can’t handle the WAYNE TRAIN.
Xavier – I really am starting to dislike my picks. However, the 5 Musketeers are on a roll right now and Syracuse/K-State haven’t done well the later part of the season. Guess I have to go with the X-Factor
Kentucky – Thank God! I was really scared that Washington was gonna get the upset… Looks like the UT-UK rematch may be possible
Baylor – Thanks to a little luck, I got my actual choice for the South. Although I love the Sexy Mexi on St. Mary’s, the Bears are coming to play in this tournament… Plus I hate Duke.

How to Train Your Dragon – I also chose to use the coin flip method for this one, but it is bound to happen. Although HTTM will do well, college kids are too cheap and lazy to see movies not named Harry Potter or Twilight the week they come out. Plus, Dragon is in 3D and my coworkers have already bought their tickets for Friday night (losers). Gotta go with the kids movie in this situation.

For the record – Thomas also picked Tennessee over Kentucky in the finals… He has now surpassed James K. Polk as my favorite President ever.”

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

[PICKS: OHIO STATE, KANSAS STATE, KENTUCKY, DUKE, HOT TUB TIME MACHINE] “Man, I’m really slipping up here lately. I’m tied for last. Not only that, the guy I’m tied with is no guy at all. He’s a half Jared/half retired Korker of Bats. I could sit here and try and come up with something half witty enough to post as to what my excuse is for such a pathetic performance, but I’ll spare you the rhetoric and take it like a man.
As tough as the first couple of rounds have been to predict, the Final Four seems somewhat obvious to me. Ohio State really lucked out with a date against a team that has never made it past the Sweet 16 in their existence. What do they get after that? The winner of Northern Iowa and a Michigan State team without their star player Lucas. They must be living right. I’m going with the Buckeyes.
The next region is a tough one. I like Syracuse. Wait, no I don’t. I think Syracuse is a good team and will probably reach the Final Four, but I cannot bet against my man Frank Martin and the Kansas State Wildcats. I like two things about that team. Their coach’s name and their mascot. Gimme the Wildcats.
Kentucky has been on an absolute tear of late playing their best basketball of the year. If they don’t make it to the Final Four I will go into a state of depression so severe I may not see the light of day for up to 19 days much less care about my score on Korked Bats Pick ‘Em. Once again, gimme the Wildcats baby.
This next region has me torn. I despise Duke and do not think they are as good as advertised. However, they always seem to annoy the poo poo out of me so I’m sure they will again this year. Purdue is boring and not worth the energy I’m expending typing a sentence about them. I really like Saint Mary’s and am grateful for them saving my bracket. And Baylor is good. Moral of the story: Duke.
I hate the fact that someone decided to make a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine that looks terrible, but as a result of an unhealthy amount of previews on television every millisecond of the day they probably created the number one movie in America. So, Hot Tub Time Machine will make the most.”
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

[PICKS: OHIO STATE, KANSAS STATE, WEST VIRGINIA, DUKE, HOT TUB TIME MACHINE ] “Of all the things I’ve accomplished this semester- becoming an editor at a magazine, surpassing 2,000 tweets, Ali Farokhmanesh beating Kansas- nothing makes me more proud of my efforts than getting myself out of the cellar Slack had me in when I took over for him in KB Pick ‘Em. That’s right, folks, I’ve tied Frank as he’s gone into full 2008 Mets mode and I’m only one game behind Frank. I’m coming for ya fellas. Time to dig deep.

As much as I’d love to put the Fighting Lucas O’Rears in the Final Four as the Midwest rep, I don’t think a more talented team are will fail to take Northern Iowa seriously again. Don’t get me wrong, I think that UNI is as talented as any four or five seed, but they don’t have the talent to beat Ohio State- assuming the Buckeyes play at a capable level. Think of Northern Iowa like you think about Chip: they’re moderately talented, and they try really hard, but more talented teams (me) will beat them.

The West is the only region that has maintained some semblance of normalcy: the one and two seeds have rolled through their first two opponents, and the five and six seeds have stayed alive by winning close games against similar opponents. Now that I’m turning the jets on, think of me as K-State/Syracuse, and Frank as Butler/Xavier. I like K-State to get past Syracuse in the Elite Eight, mainly because I think that K-State has the right blend of athleticism and outside shooting to beat Boeheim’s 2-3 zone. Figure in the fact that KSU’s Jacob Pullen has been the best player in the tournament thus far, and you can feel free to put the Wildcats in their first Final Four since 1964.

I originally picked Wisconsin to beat Kentucky in the Sweet 16, thinking their defensive discipline and slow pace could derail Kentucky’s high-flying, yet undisciplined, bunch of youngsters. Now, I’m willing to let Cornell be that team. I love that the Big Red lead the nation in 3-pt. shooting percentage. Here’s what I love most though: Cornell plays at the 279th fastest (if you want to call it that) pace in the nation, but they’re fourth in the nation in points per possession. What does that mean? In Layman’s terms, Wisconsin controls pace, but is incredibly efficient with their possessions. They will beat Kentucky.

Now, having said all that, I think that West Virginia comes out of this region. They’ll be more disciplined against Cornell than Kentucky is.

In the Midwest, nothing leads me to believe that anyone can beat Duke. I love St. Mary’s’ Omar Samhan, I adore Scott Drew and his Bears, and I have mad respect for Pudue- winning two games without Hummel hasn’t been easy for the Boilermakers. Sadly, none of those teams has what it takes to upend Duke, even though any of the three teams would make a magical Final Four story.

Hot Tub Time Machine is picking up tons of momentum all of a sudden. I’ll have to admit, I was skeptical the first 27 times I saw the trailer, but I really started to come around about the 42nd time I watched it. It’s getting great reviews so far, it’s been masterfully advertised, and it seems to have enough mainstream comedy to draw in the masses. It gets my vote.”

One thought on “Korked Bats Pick ‘Em – Week 6

  • Avatar
    March 23, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    everybody thought UNI had no shot vs choke u, and now no one gives them a shot vs ohio st, ill take UNI.

    Ill take k-state in a very good elite 8 match up with syracuse.

    Ill take kentucky, even though they are freshmen, they are really good, ill take the wildcats.

    And im not a fan of duke, feel they are really overrated, i think baylor has the guard play and the big men to beat em, so give me baylor.

    i dont think either movie will be good but httm has comedy on their side where as dragons has 3-d on their side, ill go with 3-d as it is spring break for college students at least here at mizzou it is and so i think more parents with kids see movies than college students.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.