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Korked Bats Pick ‘Em – Week 5

Four under-qualified competitors. Five games a week. First to 50 wins. And that is all that matters.
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RANDOM RAMBLINGS

We’ve finally updated our graphics to include Jared. How exciting. Also, the wonderlic scores are in and McCoy beat Tebow 25 to 22. Sam Bradford proved to be the smartest of the QBs scoring a 36. The standings have been adjusted accordingly. And since this week marks the beginning of the NCAA Tournament, we will devote all of our picks to the 8/9 games and of course everyone’s favorite game, the “play-in” one.

OVERALL STANDINGS

NAME
(W-L)
1. AUSTIN
(15-5)
T2. CHIP
(13-7)
T2. FRANK
(13-7)
4. JARED
(12-8)

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

March 15 – 21

3/25 UNLV vs. Northern Iowa
3/25 Texas vs. Wake Forest
3/26 Gonzaga vs. Florida State
3/26 Caliornia vs. Louisville

Play-in Game: Arkansas Pine Bluff vs. Winthrop

OUR PICKS

[PICKS: UNLV, WAKE FOREST, GONZAGA, LOUISVILLE, WINTHROP] “First allow me to apologize to the other competitors. Last week was my second week to go 5-0. I understand this is just frustrating for all of you and making it a lot more difficult to win this. I know your first thought may be to be embarrassed, but I assure you, your performance is totally normal. I’m just that much better. No worries.

Last week was obviously NBA week, it looks as though this week is College Basketball week. What’s next? High school basketball? YMCA League Basketball? Oh well, it is March.

For our first game, I’m taking the Running Yosemite Sams over the Fighting Field of Dreams. Texas has let me down more than than Mr. Bomman let down Roger Bomman in Angels in the Outfield. Every time I pick them to win they lose. So I have learned my lesson and I am going to take the Demon Deacons. If there is one thing I have learned in the past 12 years of filling out March Madness brackets, it’s that you NEVER pick against Gonzaga in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Sorry Noles, I’m going with the Bulldogs. And finally, a Pac-10 team against a really crappy Louisville team. Louisville was so bad this year, they probably should have played in the Pac-10 this season. However, I can’t go against Rick Pitino, his white suits, and Papa John’s commercials. Louisville wins.

As for the play-in game, I’m taking Winthrop to win the chance to lose to Duke in the first round. Congrats on being the team that gets to be embarrassed!”

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[PICKS:  N. IOWA, WAKE FOREST, FLORIDA STATE, LOUISVILLE, WINTHROP] “Well, after consistently batting .600 in every week this season, I finally decided to step my game up and go for a 4-1 week. Although I have not seen what the other writers have said, I think that Austin is probably bragging about going 5-0, Frank is probably talking about how I don’t know sports, and Jared is probably wearing really tight jeans.In response to them… Austin is still only 2 games up, so he can’t brag… Frank is still tied with me, so he must not know sports either… and Jared doesn’t smile in his Facebook pictures. On to another week of being awesome:
Northern Iowa – There defense is out of control. I am not kidding, they have held multiple opponents to scoring percentages below 20% this season. The Rebels will not be Running on them… pun intended.
Wake Forest – Picking against Texas has given me about 1/4 of my points, so of course I am going to pick against them again.
Florida State – Toughest pick of the week, but I am going to choose the Seminoles… They want to send Bowden out with a bang (Wait…Wrong sport?… Ehh, no one will notice)
Louisville – I didn’t know Cal had a basketball program until Sunday afternoon, so I have to pick the Red Birds.
Winthrop – They will easily beat UAPB and then will go on to beat Duke. One can only hope”

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[PICKS: UNLV, TEXAS, GONZAGA, LOUISVILLE, WINTHROP] “So I made my picks for this week and then looked at Austin’s and they were the exact same. Not cool. About as not cool as all the times him and I showed up to Woodland Middle School in sixth grade wearing the exact same light gray Old Navy Tech Vest. So, I had to change my picks a little. And by a little, I mean I changed one game. Here goes:
I’ll take UNLV over Northern Iowa any day of the week, especially Thursday. The Runnin’ Rebels are led by a heck of a point guard who was once run out of Kentucky by a drunkard man by the name of Billy. They also live in Las Vegas which probably means they enjoy their lives more than the guys on Northern Iowa’s squad.
The Texas/Wake Forest game is the one I decided to be the bigger man on and change in leu of Austin’s reading of my mind. I don’t actually think Texas is going to win but the winner plays Kentucky. So, this is more of a wishful thinking pick than a real one seeing as I like that match-up better.
I’m pretty sure Chris Weinke isn’t walking through that door and the spirit of John Stockton will carry Gonzaga on to the second round. I know he’s not dead yet, but he has to be getting close.
The Pac-10 is horrible at everything and Rick Pitino is a tournament tested and proven coach. I’ll take Slick Rick. That’s what Karen Sypher said.
Considering the fact I’m almost certain Winthrop has been in every NCAA Tournament field since the decade prior to my birth, I’ll give them the slight edge over the Arkansas Pine Bluff Fighting Bill Clintons.”
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[PICKS: N. IOWA, FLORIDA STATE, TEXAS, CAL, WINTHROP] “Basketball? Never heard of it. This will be interesting.
I don’t know what a ‘UNLV’ is, but I know that Iowa sucks, so I can’t even imagine what Northern Iowa is like. Probably colder and more Northern or something. However, I at least I know that Iowa is a real thing. UNLV is just four capital letters. I’ll take Northern Iowa.

Gonzaga is a funny word, but I’ll go with Florida State because there’s probably a ton of hot chicks partying there right now for their spring breaks. Gotta give props for that.

Wake Forest sounds like something out of a Shakespearean sonnet, but I hate everything about the state of Texas. Alas. We’ll go with Texas because the ‘w’ is the most unathletic letter there is, followed shortly by ‘f’ (attribution needed).

Before I pick my next thingy, do you guys know which ‘Louis’ Louisville is named for? Is it Louis Armstrong? If so, give me them. If it’s that fat Louis that hosted family feud, give me California. It’s probably the fat Louis because they felt bad for him. Gimme the Fighting Californiates.

I’ll take Winthrop over Arkansas-Pine Bluff for a few reasons. First, Arkansas-PB has actually been outscored by their opponents this year. Now, Winthrop hasn’t been much better, but you’ve got to look for the little things when analyzing match-ups. Also, according to Ken Pomeroy’s rankings, Winthrop’s adjusted defense is 65th in the nation, against Arkansas-PB’s 111th. When you’re dealing with two mediocre teams, I like the one that plays the most defense. Gimme Winthrop!”

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