Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Korked Bats Pick ‘Em Challenge – Week 2

Four under-qualified competitors. Five games a week. First to 50 wins. And that is all that matters.




February 22 – 28

2-23 Tennessee @ Florida
2-26 Spurs @ Rockets
2-27 Texas @ Texas A&M
2-28 Michigan State @ Purdue
2-28 Over/Under 38%  for RottenTomatoes.com’s rating of “Cop Out” starring Bruce Willis & Tracy Morgan


“I’m not totally sure, I’ll have to check, but I’m pretty sure I went 5 for 5 last week. Goodness gracious, if this keeps up, this competition is only going to last 10 weeks. Maybe I should mess some picks up on purpose this week just so the score isn’t so lopsided. I apologize. I want this to be fun. One of the main purposes of this post is about trash talking, but there can’t be a lot of trash talk if I am the only one doing well. Of course, how could you NOT look good against these other three guys.However, we are here to make picks, so making picks we shall. This week, I like Tennessee to win at Florida. Tennessee isn’t very good, but Florida is that much worse. Although the Spurs are .500 on the road this season, I don’t feel like the Rockets won’t be any match for them. Reason? Because they weren’t any match for my Pacers and I’ll be honest, there aren’t many teams that suck as bad as the Pacers do this year. As for Texas at ATM, (probably the toughest pick of the week) I think that Texas will fall short on the road again. The Aggies have only lost one at home all season (#1 kU). Texas will continue to fade faster than Jeff Goldblum’s career. As for the Big Ten match-up of the week, possibly the season, I’m taking the home team, Purdue. Both teams have the same conference record and pending their records by the end of the week will be battling for supremacy in the Big Ten. In conclusion, Joe Tiller’s Mustache > Sparty.

As for the pop culture pick of the week, I’m going to say UNDER 38%. Not counting Role Models, Sean William Scott has not been in anything worth while since… Well… Ummm… Yup. He hasn’t been in anything worth while. I say this movie does not sit well on RT.com.”

• • • • •

“Week 1 is over and I am holding down 2nd place, so I am happy with that. Of course, A-Huff is the only one that got the Bachelor question because he is the only one that watches the Bachelor (No, that is Homo). And it is good to see that Frank “dominated this challenge” and had an “advantage” because of his basketball knowledge… oh wait. And I’m not going to talk trash against slack because he doesn’t even pick his own school to win and I respect that. So let’s get on with this: Tennessee – No one can stop the Wayne Train… except maybe his asthma. Rockets – I am a big fan of the Ben Martin and Jordan Hill pick up this past week. Also, if you have seen Tim Duncan’s wife, you wouldn’t exactly call the Spurs winners anymore. Texas A&M – Although I have no idea what A&M stands for or what an Aggie is, Texas doesn’t play well away and A&M has been playing high above high expectations so I have to go for them. Purdue – The Spartans are choke artists and Purdue keeps on rolling over dominating. Easiest choice of the week. Under – I originally chose Over due to the fact that Percy Jackson got a 50%, but after seeing Rotten Tomatoes style, there is no way a Tracy Morgan movie will get above 25%. PS: Up In the Air got a 96% and it blows.”
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“So I’m currently losing to Austin & Chip. Nothing I can say could ease the embarrassment of such a situation. So I will thank Kentucky and Clemson for coming through for me and move on. Well, maybe not move on just yet because I just found out you can look up who wins the Bachelor so that explains Austin’s Gia pick. I swear if there was a Game Genie for life he’d have it and not tell anyone. The kid cheats more than…you know who I’m going to say so I’ll spare you the lame joke. Anyway, y’all enjoy your time in the sun, but as every cheesy cliche regurgitator has told me, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. As for this week, I’ll take Tennessee for the mere purpose of making that game a win-win for me to watch. Either Tennessee wins and I’m right, or they lose and that’s even more satisfying. The Rockets play on my birthday and since those are my boys, I’m sure they’ll pull out the W for me. Gotta take Texas again even though they did the impossible last week and lost to Missouri. Without the power of Gene Keady’s toupee on the sideline, Purdue is nothing. My money (if I had any) is on the Spartans. And I’m definitely going to go with the under on the Cop Out review. Making that movie was about as good of an idea as that time Notre Dame hired Charlie Weis to become their head football coach. (By the way, Tiger was the guy that Austin cheats more than if you’re slow.)”
• • • • •

“Real talk…not the world’s biggest basketball fan, so I’ll be making my picks this week based on purely arbitrary criteria. Not to mention, I picked against my own Alma Mater last week after they routed UVa which seems to indicate my complete lack of prognosticative ability. That said…

Tennessee: Although he’s quickly climbing the ranks of my least favorite figures in college athletics, I still dislike Billy Donovan more than Bruce Pearl. Wayne Chism and his ridiculous headband will squeak out a close one in Gainesville.

Spurs: Eva Longoria Parker more than nullifies whatever kind of she-beast Tim Duncan wed himself to. Plus, Louis Scola is a total puff and he’s gunna catch that silky hook shot off glass right in his eyeball all day.
Texas: 1) This rivalry is only relevant on the football field. 2) Dexter Pittman is the new Dejuan Blair. 3) I’ve never seen a Jeff Goldblum movie I didn’t like. No one could hope to replace Vincent Dinofrio on Law & Order: CI, but Goldblum does a more than passable job in his stead.
Purdue: Despite the fact that he looks like the Shawn Bradley alien “Monstar” from Space Jam, Robby Hummel can play a little ball.

The only way “Cop Out” would break 38% on Rotten Tomatoes is if Tracy Morgan was playing Brian Fellows..”

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