Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Kobe Knows Fashion

As you all know, we here at KB are always cutting edge when it comes to the latest fashion news (We used to wear throwback jerseys when they were still on sale at JC Penny), but it seems that Kobe Bryant has even beat our amazing fashion styles. In his recent fashion shoot for LA Times Magazine, all we can ask is “What are you thinking?” Luckily I took an ESP course in college*, so I know what Kobe was thinking.

Note: Technically it was Economics of Social Policy, but that’s neither here nor there.

What is Kobe Thinking?

“Hey you there.  No, not you, the guy next to you.  Hey… What’s up?  I’m Kobe.”

“Wanna see my trophies… If ya know what I mean?”

“This probably isn’t a good idea, but who cares? It’s not everyday you’re in a hotel in Colorado.”

“Only I can pull off white after Labor Day.”

“My body is telling me yes, but my face is telling me Hell Yes!”

“This outfit is too… Plain. I should try some other clothes on.”

What is Kobe Thinking?

“This new apartment is pretty empty. It would look way better with a Kobe Bryant #24 jersey.  No, a Kobe Bryant #8 Jersey.”

“I call this pose the ‘Thinking Man’. I call this outfit the ‘What Was I Thinking Man?'”

“What do you mean no shoes no service?!”

“These capris feel like short shorts compared to what I wear on the basketball court.”

What is Kobe Thinking?

“I am a Reverse Pilgrim right now.”

“My mom dressed me up like this just so we can have cute pictures.”

“What is more ridiculous? My bow tie, hat, or sweatbands?”

“Make fun of me and I’ll dunk on you.”

(Say in little kid voice.) “This outfit looks more wong then white.”

What is Kobe Thinking?

“Oh snap, LeBron is here. I need to look more gangster, so I’m just gonna put my hood up. There we go, now I look totally awesome.”

“E.T. phone home.”

“I saw that Bill Belichick cut the sleeves on his hoodies. I wanted to one up him.”

“At lease my mug shot will be stylish!”

What is Kobe Thinking?

“Yeah, I look so good right now.”

“Most people rock the V-Neck. I rock the V-Chest.”

(Sing this one) “I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me.”

“Stop staring at my cleavage.”

“Dressing like this is a good idea.”

What is Chip Thinking?


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