Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Knicks Guard Josh Hart Just Wants To Know If Any Of Y’All Have Tried Your Girl’s Breast Milk

Knicks guard Josh Hart has a question. Now look, before you cast judgment, let he among us who has never tried their girl’s boobie juice cast the first stone, amirite?! Even still, it’s not like Josh is copping to takin’ a sip of the titty milk. He’s merely asking if anyone else has. And it’s a simple question. Why is everyone being so weird about it? And it’s not even he who wants to know. It’s his friend. Otherwise, he clearly wouldn’t have added the caveat “asking for a friend.” He’s just looking for a simple yes or no answer. And if you answer yes, I assume he reserves the right to hit you with a follow-up. Or at least his friend does. Also, what I like is the fact that he didn’t make this question gender specific. It’s 2023. Ladies, have y’all ever tasted your man’s swim-up bar? You ever hit up his Dairy Queen drive-thru? Ever drink straight from the tap? Be honest. This is a safe space. Josh Hart is merely asking for his friend. Also, let’s assume Josh Hart isn’t lying and is legitimately asking for a friend. Who in the hell is that friend? And how did that conversation go? “Hey man, you’ve got like half-a-mill followers. You mind tweeting a question for me? This might sound weird, but hear me out…” And then Josh, being the good friend he is, just does it. I’ll admit. I gotta respect that. May we all one day be lucky enough to find a friend who will ask a nipple-suckling question on our behalf.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.