Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

King James Version

It looks like LeBron James and the Cavaliers have yet another early exit from the NBA Playoffs… I feel like there is a trend here. After the “unbiased” NBA analysts have been telling us that “something in LeBron has changed this season” and that “this is LeBron’s year,” the ending is still the same. And who was the guy that said there was no chance all the way back in December? That’s right, KB Faithful, it was me.

Now that the Cavs’ season is over, there is much speculation over what jersey LeBron will be wearing next year.  And since God has blessed me with my NBA intuition, I thought it would only be right to spread his word. But instead of speaking in NIV terms, I’ll let you all know what teams are most likely to be using the King James Version.

Chicago Bulls

According to most sources, the Bulls are currently the front runner for LeBron. They already have a star in Derrick Rose and their GM has expressed interest in pulling a sign-and-trade with the Toronto Raptors to also acquire Chris Bosh. Almost a perfect match except for one thing… they don’t have a coach. And we all know that LeBron can’t get very far without a coach.

Seattle SuperSonics

So the SuperSonics may not be an NBA team anymore, but LeBron has just as good of a chance of winning a championship for Seattle as he does for Cleaveland… (Zero)

Los Angeles’s Other Team

Another potential team with some great building blocks. They have a very good guard in Eric Gordon and an even better forward in Blake Griffin. Just add some Bron-Bron to the mix and the Lakers may no longer be the best team in L.A. anymore. However, everyone knows that you can’t be a successful Clipper. That’s like being a successful Cavalier… Boom Roasted! That’s two in a row!

Washington Bullets

That is the tallest and the shortest players to ever start in the NBA… Who wouldn’t want to play for this team?

New York Knickerbockers

The Knicks are easily one of the top  teams on the  LeBron list. They have a large amount of cap space and are located in the largest NBA market, but then you have to remember that they are the Knicks. I mean, they used to be coached by Whoopi Goldberg. They haven’t been great since Patrick Ewing, and they haven’t choked anyone since their Latrell Spreewell days. I would recommend LeBron to this team, but I can name more players on the the Timberwolves than the Knicks*, so maybe this isn’t the best choice.

*Kevin Love, Corey Brewer, and Jonny Flynn of the T-Wolves vs. David Lee of the Knicks

Then Who?

At this point in time, no one has any idea who King James will be playing for next season… not even LeBron. The current front runner is easily the Bulls.  But if Bron-Bron really wants to win a championship, then he should probably find a coach who has won a championship  (i.e. not Coach Calipari)

One thought on “King James Version

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    May 19, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    as a life long bulls fan i can say that i would like nothing more than to have lbj in a bulls jersey (especially because he already said he’s done wearing #23) but as much as i would like to see lebron playing for the bulls, thats how much i DO NOT want to see calipari as the head coach. look at his resume. every team he coaches does well for a season or two, he leaves, then they get in trouble and the program goes down hill. hiring that sleez bag calipari is like making a deal with the devil… sounds great until you realize you’ve gotten more than you bargained for.


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