Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Kevin v. Kyle Korked Bats NFL Pick Em Challenge Bonanza-Off

It’s Week 3 and time for our NFL picks. I have been in stiff competition with my adversary/best friend Kevin, who thinks he can out-pick me this NFL season. Up for grabs is the following, as picked by you, the readers:

If Kyle beats Kevin, Kevin must write a 350 word + post about how the Kansas City Royals are the AL Central team of the future. If Kevin beats Kyle, Kyle must write an article (same prospective length) about how Minnesota Twins Hall of Fame nothing Bert Blyleven has the best curveball of all time.

That’s some serious pride on the line, folks. Here are Kevin’s picks and my responses for week three, as well as the overall total for the season. Remember, no picks in week one because we were kind of lazy.

NFL Picks Week 3:

Kevin: New England 38 • Buffalo 24

It’s the Patriots vs. the Bills. Enough said.

Kyle: New England 35 • Buffalo 30

Buffalo scores late to make this look closer than it actually will be.

• • •

Kevin: Cincinnati 23 • San Francisco 17

Alex Smith is the 49ers quarterback.

Kyle: Cincinnati 14 • San Francisco 10

• • •

Kevin: Miami 20 • Cleveland 13

Miami finally faces a team bad enough they can beat.

Kyle: Miami 24 • Cleveland 20

…If they even play this

• • •

Kevin: Denver 14 • Tennessee 24

Tennessee hasn’t beaten Denver since 1995, but Denver is really bad this year… really bad.

Kyle: Denver 20 • Tennessee 31

Chris Johnson shows up?

• • •

Kevin: Detroit 27 • Minnesota 20

Stafford stays healthy for one more game.

Kyle: Detroit 27 • Minnesota 30

Detroit can’t win every game.

• • •

Kevin: Houston 21 • New Orleans 31

Houston finally plays a team good enough they can lose to.

Kyle: Houston 30 • New Orleans 27

Houston is for real.

• • •

Kevin: New York Giants 24 • Philadelphia 28

The Giants’ running game keeps them in it, but then Eli starts throwing the ball.

Kyle: NYGiants 17 • Philadelphia 34

Too many injuries for the Giants named Eli.

• • •

Kevin: Jacksonville 17 • Carolina 21

Cam Newton only throws for 200 yards in this one.

Kyle: Jacksonville 20 • Carolina 10

• • •

Kevin: Kansas City 14 • San Diego 34

The Chiefs finally put up a fight and only lose by 20.

Kyle: Kansas City 17 • San Diego 24


• • •

Kevin: New York Jets 20 • Oakland 13

Rex Ryan eats doughnuts on the sidelines while his defense takes care of the Raiders.

Kyle: New York Jets 13 • Oakland 20

• • •

Kevin: Baltimore 21 • St. Louis 7

There’s no way I pick an NFC West team against an AFC North team.

Kyle: Baltimore 17 • St. Louis 21

• • •

Kevin: Atlanta 28 • Tampa Bay 23

The Bucs find out they can only come back against bad teams.

Kyle: Atlanta 34 • Tampa Bay 20

• • •

Kevin: Green Bay 35 • Chicago 17

Mike Martz… I can’t stand him.

Kyle: Green Bay 35 • Chicago 20

I still don’t think the Bears are good enough to make the playoffs last year.

• • •

Kevin: Arizona 16 • Seattle 24

Seattle literally lets their home crowd play the game for them, giving new meaning to their home advantage.

Kyle: Arizona 20 • Seattle 9

• • •

Kevin: Pittsburgh 27 • Indianapolis 10

Indy only loses by 17 this week as they become too distracted looking ahead to how they will succeed in losing to the Chiefs in Week 5.

Kyle: Pittsburgh 24 • Indianapolis 20

• • •

Kevin: Washington 17 • Dallas 24

I will not pick a team that starts Rex Grossman at quarterback.

Kyle: Washington 10 • Dallas 27

Dez and Romo start, and tear apart the Skins.

• • •

Records to Date: Kevin 12-4, Kyle 10-6

Be sure to follow Kyle and all of his jokes on Twitter: @kyleayers

Also, be sure to follow our guest picker Kevin on Twitter: @krlt84

And finally, follow Korked Bats and all our sports jokes on Twitter: @korkedbats


Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


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