Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

July 3rd Is More Than Just The Day Before The 4th

What better way to honor this forgotten day than by taking a look back and remembering some of the most influential forgettable people and events the 3rd of July has ever seen.  (Cue drum roll)

Happy Birthday Neil O’Donnell!  You taught me that it is possible for somebody to influence the game so little that you don’t get offered an ESPN analyst job at your retirement press conference.

Happy Birthday Moises Alou!  As impressive as your career numbers are, most of your influence comes from young boys trying to mimic your batting stance for their friends.  See also: Andres Galarraga.

On this day just 16 years ago, Pete Sampras defeated Goran Ivanišević in the 108th Wimbledon.  It is very hard to be known as one of the greatest all time of your sport while influencing nobody.  I don’t know if fewer people enjoy tennis or boring people, but as a boring tennis player, you really had no chance from the get-go Pete.

You know when an announcer will say, “this game is much closer than it looks”?  Well on this day in 1983, that phrase was invented when the Rangers beat the A’s 16-4…..in the 15th inning.

And on July 3rd, 1890 Idaho became a state.  As you can see above, some women marry men just for their money but deep down they really don’t even like them.  That is just horrible.  Anyways, thanks for the spud Idaho.

• • •

I am truly amazed at the lack of interest I had in writing this post about uninteresting things that happened on this forgotten day.  To avoid being a hypocrite, I had to write something that would never be remembered.  After all, it is the 3rd of July.

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