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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Josh Allen’s Boo Boo, Frank Reich, & The Titans Loss – Here Are My Monday Thoughts & Notes

Here are some random thoughts I’ve had today…

We’ll be throwing up a Cuba Gooding Jr. GIF this week, because that Titans loss was rough, especially considering I went into the game expecting it to be a Bills game part deux, but after 3 quarters with the Titans leading, I was roped in. Somehow while missing their starting quarterback (who is 2-1 with a 94 QB rating against the Chiefs as a Titan), 2/3 of the starting wide receiver corps, and their second-best defensive back, the Titans still nearly won in overtime against the best offense in football. In fact, in their last two meetings, Derrick Henry has as many touchdown passes as Patrick Mahomes. That’s not a knock at Mahomes, that’s a damn flex on that Vrabel-led defense. Also, enjoy defensive coordinator Shane Bowen now, Titans fans. He’ll be head coaching elsewhere in the league next season. And we all know what it’s like to lose a talented coordinator to a head coaching vacancy. *gives side eye to Todd Downing*

Also, this happened:

Imagine stopping someone in a bathroom to drop that nugget on someone. Why do I constantly have AWKWARD MOMENTS WITH TITANS FANS IN BATHROOMS?!

‣ Star Wars has announced the cast for their new series The Acolyte.

I used to consider myself a fairly big Star Wars fan, but the deeper we get into this universe, the more lost I am. Also, who is naming these series? Feels like they’re just making up words now. The Acolyte? What’s the next Star Wars series going to be? The Banydon? Maybe The Roshtonel? The Acolyte sounds like a medication for elderly people you’d see commercials for on TV. “Talk to your doctor about Acolyte today.”

I still think it’s too early for Christmas music. Let Thanksgiving breathe.

That was pass interference by the Dolphins on Chase Claypool late in the Bears game.

But hey, at least Justin Fields.

‣ Josh Allen could be injured. Injured bad. (Shout out the “kicked in the penis” kid.) That sucks for the NFL. Josh Allen is fun to watch (mostly when he’s not beating your team 41-7), but I will never feel sorry for any NFL team for injuries after watching the Titans set a record for the most injured players in NFL history last season. Sorry, not sorry. (But also, I’m kinda sorry.)

‣ AJ Brown sure is turning heel and being a dick to a franchise that was there for him through some rough trials. It’s really a shame. No need to piss on the Titans’ wide receiver-less grave.

Dave Denholm is the radio voice of LAFC. I love the guy. Super fun and funny and incredibly great at what he does. Enjoy his winning call of the freaking MLS Cup.

‣ Frank Reich is known for quarterbacking the biggest comeback in NFL history and now known for coaching the biggest fallback in NFL history. Not sure what happened to the Colts, but man is it fascinating to watch. Like a wreck on the side of the interstate. I don’t want to gawk too much, because it could very easily happen to me, but man is it wild to witness.

In case Elon Musk is reading this, this website does contain some **PARODY.**

Watched M. Knight Shyamalan’s OLD over the weekend. To me, M. Knight is the Marcus Mariota of directors. After early success in his career, I want for him so bad to be great again, but he keeps falling flat. But I will never stop rooting for him to find the greatness he once had.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin