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Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Jim Harbaugh Has A Passion For Mowing The Lawn That Runs Deeper Than Your Soul

University of Michigan head football coach Jim Harbaugh made the media rounds this week and, boy oh boy, did Jimmy make this one count.

Then again, if we’re being completely honest with ourselves, it would be rather surprising if Jim Harbaugh were to go through a sit-down with a media member without dropping some kind of memorable gem.

Anxiety-ridden chickens, anyone? Because they’re apparently very nervous birds. In the name of devouring life’s challenges, you should not be eating them.

How about the “fine bovine wine” that is milk? Because few things are better than a tall glass of cow paired with a slab of cow.

This familiar theme of distinct randomness that Harbaugh so routinely offers up is seemingly built into his DNA, as we have all learned in some capacity, and there’s absolutely nothing any of us can do about it.

Who could forget the “devout” Judge Judy fanatic showering the brash arbitration queen with great cheer back in 2015?

Whether you happen to love the guy or stand on the opposite side of a 59-year-old man who will always attend a baseball game with glove in hand, Harbaugh’s endless oddities — which are usually coupled with intense enthusiasm — do come across as genuine.

In this latest of iteration of “Wait, What Does Jim Harbaugh Love?” we have Sports Illustrated’s Pat Forde to thank for asking the fateful question of…

If Jim Harbaugh hadn’t taken the football path that’s brought him a wealth of success, both as a player and head coach, what would Jimbo have done instead?

“A lawnsman!” Harbaugh enthusiastically responds. “That’s what I do. Mowing the lawn is one of the great feelings I have in life.”

“A lawnsman!” This comes across like the raw excitement of a kid spotting the ice cream truck a few blocks away.

But honestly, it’s almost impossible not to be able to visualize Harbaugh saying all of this and doing so with great vigor. Of course Jim Harbaugh loves mowing the lawn. And not only does he love trimming that grass, gettin’ in a good mow apparently brings Jim one of the greatest feelings life has to offer.

It gets better, too.

“It accomplishes three things,” Harbaugh says. “I’m clearing my mind or thinking of new plays; I feel good about what I accomplish; and I either make money or I save money.”

It’s actually pretty difficult to argue against Harbaugh’s three-pronged value pack takeaways whenever he hops on a lawn mower. Especially when one factors in the “thinking of new plays” element. Essentially, he’s still getting work in as Michigan’s head football coach while also maintaining the most pristine lawn in the United States.

At the same time, it’s also important to keep in mind that this is a man who is currently living under a freshly minted five year, $36 million contract, and yet still rabidly insists on mowing his own lawn.

As they say, built different.

It’s probably a safe bet that the Jim Harbaugh lawn mowing experience is unlike any other. He absolutely strikes me as the type who wouldn’t even bother to throw on headphones to play some music or perhaps a pair of earplugs to drown out the incessant noise.

Nope. Like everything else, Jim Harbaugh is 100 percent all-in, so I imagine he very much prefers the soothing sounds of the very loud, disruptive lawn mower, soaking in the full experience while providing his yard with the best haircut in the neighborhood. And more than likely smiling the entire time, too.

Now before we finish out, we should probably include this crucial note for Michigan fans because keeping Jim Harbaugh in his happy place has always been a top priority for the Maize and Blue faithful.

“It makes me sad sometimes when I drive around Ann Arbor,” Harbaugh says. “It used to be kids mowing the lawns. I was that kid, out mowing lawns, earning some money. Now it’s a truck and a crew at every house.”

So for all of those mothers and fathers in Ann Arbor and beyond who allow their kids to do whatever they want and instead pay a crew to mow their respective lawns, please know that by choosing this lazy route you are, in turn, making Jimmy sad.

Alas, it’s not too late, people.

In fact, it’s nearly right on time because Mowin’ SZN has sure as hell arrived, with plenty of grass to be cut for the next six months.

So it would probably be wise to do right by Jim by being like Jim.

@graceharbaugh

some light yard work to kick off the trip

♬ The Home Depot Beat – The Home Depot

God bless Grace Harbaugh, Jim’s daughter, for gifting us with “Airport Jim” and offering us a glimpse of this lawn mowing ritual that reportedly must take place before the Harbaugh family departs for each and every vacation.

Tim Ryan

Tim Ryan is a freelance writer with a humorous take on the preposterous world of sports we've all come to know and embrace. His previous work can be found at places like Bro Bible, The Big Lead, FanSided, and Sportsnaut, among others. Tim's Q&A sitdown with Hulk Hogan remains one of his favorite 'journalistic' experiences to date.

Tim Ryan