Jean-Claude Van Damme Finally Revealed A Picture Of His Girlfriend
If earlier this week, you felt the Earth stop spinning on its axis, it’s because of this tweet.
Say whaaaaaat?!
Famed ’90s action superstar Jean-Claude Van Damme has a girlfriend?! And during #JeanClaudeVanDammuary no less? Oh hell yeah. Looks like you’ve got your cover stories for the next three months, gossip mags! E! News is about to become JCVD! News. Street Fighter? More like Street Lover, amirite?!
Now sure, this tweet was extremely vague and carried some major “Yeah, I have a girlfriend, but you wouldn’t know her. She goes to a different school” vibes. But I gotta respect the man. My man still has game. Even if his “girlfriend” probably lives in Canada and we probably wouldn’t know her.
Now, granted. He’s not the best at time, because spoiler: he did NOT post her photo tomorrow. We had to wait two days to get our first look at the luckiest lady on the planet. But look, we can wait an extra day for him to post a photo of who I assume is the hottest woman in a scantily clad bikini and well…
Dammit. Folks, this is what we call a Jean-Claude Van Dad joke.
I’ll be honest. This felt like getting the rug pulled out from under me and/or getting roundhouse kicked to the gut by JCVD. But look, I’m not gonna slander the man for it. Again, it’s #JeanClaudeVanDammuary afterall. This is his month. If he wants to post photos of his dog and pretend like he’s in some relationship with her or hell, even if he wants to be in a relationship with her, this is HIS month, he can do whatever the hell he wants.
Well played, JCVD. You set the bait. We bit. And you played us all. And now you’re sitting awkwardly pretty.
P.S. — Don’t go searching to see if they sell this photo on JCVD Shop dot com. They don’t. I already checked.
