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Jaguars Coach Calls His Assistants ‘Losers,’ Proceeds To Lose Next Game

Urban Meyer in the NFL has been God’s gift to content creators. The man does nothing but dumb and funny (if you’re not a Jaguars fan) stuff. And the trend continued this weekend with a report from NFL.com about how he kinda sucks to work with. Sure, it’s no leaked video of him grinding on a coed, but it’s arguably the next best thing. The report revealed that Urban Meyer kinda sucks to work with.

During a staff meeting, Meyer delivered a biting message that he’s a winner and his assistant coaches are losers, according to several people informed of the contents of the meeting, challenging each coach individually to explain when they’ve ever won and forcing them to defend their résumés.

via NFL.com

It’s never a good sign when the league’s own website drops a scathing report of one of their franchise’s head coaches. But the disdain for Urb knows no bounds. This may not be the most shocking news, as Urb gives off more douche vibes more than Chernobyl residents give off radiation. And additionally, he might be on the Mt. Punchmore of sports’ most punchable faces. So we had to expect this report to come. And it’s never going to come out if his team was winning. But now that his team sucks, more people will be spilling the tea. But who knows? Maybe Urb calling his staff losers will motivate the franchise.

So let’s check in to see how this week went for him and his losers.

GEWWW! Not great, Bob.

But remember: this isn’t on Urban. He’s won championships before. What the hell have his assistant coaches ever done? It’s not like he coaches the receivers individually, and you can tell by what they were doing on the field today.

Yeah, Urban is surrounded by losers. And it’s not easy to win when you’re surrounded by losers. Remember when Spike played for the Little Giants? They still sucked. And so what if Urban hired these losers? He can’t help them being losers. His assistant head coach is Charlie Strong. And he lost to Kansas as head coach of Texas. So clearly his loser credentials have been proven.

However, the unfortunate thing for Urban is, he too is a loser. Don’t believe me? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, allow me to present exhibit A.

I rest my case.

So allow me to repeat: Urban Meyer is – to quote Heavyweights – a loser… a loser with a skinny weiner.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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