Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

It’s A Ryan Shame

For the first time in three years, the Philadelphia Phillies will be on their couches watching the World Series. On Saturday, the Phillies lost to the San Francisco Giants 3-2 causing them to lose the series, 4-2. A key reason to their series loss was not scoring as many runs as the Giants in four of the six games they played. Another key reason for their loss was Ryan Howard.

Ryan Howard, the highest paid player in the National League (yes, more than that Pujols guy), struck out 12 out of the 25 times he was at the plate in the National League Championship Series. Which, on the bright side, is at least slightly less than half. And also, Phillie fans, keep your heads up, at least he didn’t strike out 157 times like he did during the regular season (which is actually significantly down from his totals of the past three seasons before that – 186, 199, 199). But hey, again, keep the bright side in sight Phillie fans, at least he’s not B. McBain. That guy only has 4 home runs.

So if you need someone to blame for your early (for the Phillies) exit of the postseason, don’t blame Jayson Werthless and his .222 postseason average, blame Ryan Howard and his terrible plate discipline. I mean, the Phillies’ season did end with him striking out.

Ryan Howard’s plate discipline is equal to or worse than Amy Winehouse’s meth discipline.

However, don’t hang your heads just yet, City of Brotherly Love (and Boy Meets World). We have a wonderful gift/sports memorabilia/piece of fire wood opportunity for you for very cheap.

We stumbled upon a Craig’s List entry including strike out enthusiast Ryan Howard’s very own baseball bat for sale for the very low price of $1.

Move over, Doug Flutie! It looks like we CAN get more than just a 20-minute phone call for under a buck by using 10-10-220.

The description of the product says it all, but now you can strike out just like your favorite overpaid first baseman.

Phillie fans may be upset by this post, but they must remember that they are now in the off-season just like the rest of us with the exception of Rangers and Giants fans. But hey, don’t worry Phanatics, there’s always next season… to watch Howard strikeout and throw up on each other. And plus, Christmas is coming up, get ready to boo Santa.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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