fbpx
Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

In Typical 2020 Fashion, Turns Out We Read The Mayan Calendar Wrong. The World’s Ending This Week

SOURCE – Most of the world started using the Gregorian calendar back in 1582, that’s the calendar we know today.

However, before this people used different calendars to keep a track of dates including the Mayan and Julian calendars.

The Gregorian calendar was introduced to try and better reflect the time it takes Earth to orbit the Sun.

However, 11 days of time were said to be lost from the year that was once determined by the Julian calendar.

Over time these lost days add up and now there’s a conspiracy theory claiming that we should actually be in the year 2012, not 2020.

In a since deleted tweet, scientist Paolo Tagaloguin reportedly said: “Following the Julian Calendar, we are technically in 2012.

“The number of days lost in a year due to the shift into Gregorian Calendar is 11 days.

“For 268 years using the Gregorian Calendar (1752-2020) times 11 days = 2,948 days. 2,948 days / 365 days (per year) = 8 years”.

Following this theory, June 21, 2020 would actually be December 21, 2012, a date you may recognise.

“Oops. My bad.” -conspiracy theorists

C’mon, guys. This isn’t like forgetting the date of your anniversary. This is the end of the world we’re talking about. How are you going to miss the date by EIGHT YEARS and then only give us a week’s heads up? I have a few important meetings and appointments set up for next week that I can’t move. So thanks for nothing!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the world ending next week. I’d say we overstayed our welcome on this planet. We’re long overdue for an armageddon (the actual definition, not a sequel). So the timing is actually perfect. I just wish we’d have a little more heads up so I had time to knock a few things off my bucket list like fly a drone or go see Mount Rushmore.

Remember back in 2012? The end of the Mayan calendar was all anyone could talk about. It was everywhere. It was last decade’s Y2k, only minus people freaking out about whether or not their digital watches were Y2k compatible. Hell, we even got a John Cusack movie out of the whole ordeal. I still remember him driving his doorless limousine through the streets of LA, trying to survive. But today? I doubt you’d even be able to book a limousine service in this economy.

Sure, world-ending catastrophes barely crack the front page these days, which I get. But still, anyone in marketing will tell you that you need time to build up a proper roll out, to tease it and create excitement and momentum. We need time to get hyped about this new apocalypse. Let the capitalist amongst us sell a little merch. Let’s get some funny viral videos out of these final days. Or hell, maybe another John Cusack movie! But with less than a week’s notice, I guess we just have to grin and bear it. Take another one on the chin in 2020. So thanks for nothing, conspiracy theorists. We had three months sitting at home in quarantine to where you could’ve tipped us off to this news, but no.

I mean if the world ends up ending, this failed calculation has to be the biggest fail in the history of human civilization, right? If not it’s at least right up there with Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s driver making the wrong turn which led to World War I, not having enough lifeboats on the Titanic or some dude in Wuhan eating a bat. I can’t be the one to knock these conspiracy theorists for messing up their algebra, though, because I too suck at math.

I guess what I’m trying to say is next time you guys conspire a theory, just do it a little sooner. Ok?

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.