In The Wildest Headline Of All-Time: A ‘Mighty Ducks’ Actor Is A Presidential Candidate & Tied To Jeffrey Epstein
There is so much to unpack in the following headline I’m about to share. You might want to sit down to read this one.
I’ll give you moment to reread that, because I know you’ll have to. I did.
I couldn’t have filled in the blanks of a Mad Lib and gotten a weirder result than this headline. The more you read, the weirder it gets. Let’s go ahead and try to unpack this thing piece by piece. First of all, using the word “star” when referring to Brock Pierce might be the biggest SEO stretch of all-time. You probably have no idea who Brock Pierce even is. Here’s a picture:
Look familiar?
No?
How about if I add an unnecessary amount of flashback glow to his face?
Pretty obvious, now isn’t it?
That’s right. It’s Young Gordon Bombay.
Now calling Brock Pierce a star of ‘Mighty Ducks’ would be like calling Billy Zane the star of Zoolander. He was in like two quick flashback scenes. Hardly what I’d deem “star” status. The kid from Nickelodeon’s Pete & Pete was in that movie more than him.
Greg Goldberg was a star. Fulton Reed was a star. Young Gordon Bombay was not.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s unpack the presidential hopeful part.
The “Mighty Ducks” actor, who grew up to become a cryptocurrency billionaire — and is running as an independent candidate in the 2020 election — was contrite about speaking at a 2011 conference in the Virgin Islands supported by Epstein.
via New York Post
Wait, what? He’s a presidential hopeful for 2020?! As in THIS year? We’re like a couple weeks out from election day and this is the first I’m hearing his name. Apparently cryptocurrency can’t fund campaigns like they used to.
And finally, the Jeffrey Epstein stuff.
We’re at a point now where if you had any ties to Jeffrey Epstein, whether directly or even Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon degree ties, it’s not a good look. At all. It can ruin you. Unless of course you’re a current or former politician with direct ties. Then apparently no one seems to care enough to do anything. But that’s a different discussion for a whole other day.
“Had I known that the sponsor had been Jeffrey Epstein and if I knew what I know now, I would never have gone,” Pierce, 39, told The Daily Mail.
The Mindshift conference, which featured top scientists, was held just 18 months after the disgraced hedge-funder completed his slap-on-the-wrist 13-month prison sentence in Florida for soliciting prostitution from underage girls.
“I was asked to speak about the future of money, and so I went,” Pierce said, “I speak at conferences normally two or three times a week.”
“I don’t do substantial due diligence nor was there any information about who was sponsoring it. And so I ended up speaking at that event.”
In an interview with The Daily Beast, Pierce said he had “never heard of Jeffrey Epstein” at the time of the event.
“His name was not on the website,” Pierce said. “I was asked to speak alongside Nobel Prize winners on the future of money… I was like, ‘Nobel Prize winners? Sounds great. I’ll happily talk about the future of money with them.’”
“Had I known what I know now? I clearly would have never spoken there. But I spoke at a conference that he cosponsored.”
Great. Now Brock Pierce is never going to win the presidency.
Look, pretty sure it’s not new news Epstein was a vile human, total creep, and literal demon. And that’s just the nice things people have said about him since he killed himself was murdered in jail. Honestly, I don’t know how Brock Pierce bounces back from this. First his acting career, now hiw political career? Luckily he has all that cryptocurrency to fall back on, I guess.
I guess the only good news here is if you don’t want to vote for Trump or Biden, you have a third option: the kid who missed the triple-deke on a penalty shot in the 1973 state championship.
