If You’re Reading This, Name Your Kid “Sean”

I noticed something peculiar while preparing to discuss a very important matter for “Family Lunch” our weekly IG Live show on Korked Bats’ Instagram (You should join us, we have fun.) The topic I was preparing for? Oh, just your classic game of ‘Which NFL Coach Would Win In A Fight?’ Pretty standard discussion for “Family Lunch,” tbh.

So as I was analyzing these coaches, watching tape, taking notes, finding facts, and sizing them up, it struck me. We have 3 coaches named Sean currently in the NFL Playoffs. Does the NFL have a Sean problem or do Seans have an NFL problem? Remains to be seen. Sean’s are taking over the NFL.

Quite frankly, the world needs a Sean vs. Sean matchup. Whether it’s Sean McVay vs. Sean Payton in the NFC Championship or Sean McDermott vs. either of the NFC Sean’s in the Super Bowl. Our Sean cup would be overflowing with Sean. And joy.

This has to be the first time in NFL history that three Sean’s are in the NFL playoffs. When was the last time we had no Seans? Not to be confused with Knowshon [Moreno]. Geez I cramped up even typing that awful joke. But seriously. THREE SEAN’S! Not Shawn. Not Shaun. Sean!

I’ve been sitting here for the last couple days trying to figure out just where the Steelers went wrong last weekend. Despite the fact that Pouncey snapped the ball over Big Ben’s head with the first play of the game, I finally realized it was because the Steelers don’t have a head coach named Sean. So consider this me dropping a hint to the Steelers brass. We need a Sean in that locker room. I know Austin loves Mike Vrabel coaching the Titans, but given this recent discovery, I’m sure he would be willing to cut off his peen for a Sean Vrabel.

Hell, every locker room needs a Sean. So if you’re reading this, the world, in particular the NFL, needs more Sean’s, please name your kid Sean.