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If You Were Wondering If All Hope Is Lost, Nashville Airport Is Changing Their Carpet, So Yes It Is

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (WKRN) — The infamous BNA carpet at Nashville International Airport will soon be replaced, according to an airport spokesperson.

Kym Gerlock, the airport’s Communications Director, said Tuesday the carpet will be “completely replaced” with terrazzo flooring. She added the terrazzo flooring “costs much less to maintain” and “makes rolling luggage easier.”

via WKRN.com

Not today, Satan. And not today, terrazzo flooring. I’m not going to be the millionth person to make the “could 2020 get any worse?” joke, mainly because I’ve already made it like a thousand times already, but also, this time it’s not a joke… could 2020 get any worse?

I grew up in Nashville, so you could say I grew up on that carpet. I lived in Nashville until 2015, and still make it back multiple times throughout the year. Meaning the first one to welcome me home isn’t my parents, my friends, or my Uber driver Darren. It’s that ugly brown carpet.

Over the years, Nashville has changed so much. Even just in the few years I’ve lived away from Nashville. I remember when Lower Broadway was the area of town you do NOT go to. Unless of course you wanted drugs, death, or some sort of combo meal with them both – which was much cheaper. Now? You’re not officially a country music recording artist until you own a multi-story bar with a nice rooftop view of the Batman building and maybe that red rollercoaster looking thing next to the river. I say all this only half-joking. Pretty sure every talented country music star and Florida-Georgia Line all have bars on Lower Broad. Nowadays there are high rises and condos on every corner. But back in the day, it felt like the highest point in the city was either the L&C Tower or up the ramp in the back corner of Laser Quest. (I racked up so many kills in that corner.) But all this to say, Nashville is so different than what it used to be, but the one constant has always been that carpet.

https://twitter.com/DougKreulen/status/1298227057638375429

And now it’s gone.

Think of all the talent that has stepped foot on that carpet. Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, Jack White (love him), Paul McCartney, Tim McGraw, Todd Chrisley, Brad Paisley and his wife who played the bride in Father Of The Bride, Brooks & Dunn, the Walmart yodeling kid, and Rick Moranis. I can’t 100% confirm any of those, I’m just assuming Rick Moranis had to have made a trip to Nashville at one point, right?

Plus, think about all the untalented people who have walked on that carpet. The people who came to Nashville to make it in the industry, only to find themselves selling real estate or insurance like a year later. It’s literally sacred ground.

And now they’re just picking that carpet up off the ground and throwing it away like it’s a schedule magnet (sponsored by Kroger) left in the seats at a Titans game. How dare they.

And this might be the most upsetting part of it all:

She added the terrazzo flooring “costs much less to maintain” and “makes rolling luggage easier.”

You know what else costs much less to maintain, Kym Gerlock BNA’s Communications Director? Shaving your head. But I’m willing to bet you’re not doing that, are you? And don’t try and sell me on this “terrazzo flooring.” This isn’t Flip or Flop. And no one has ever been asked to go on a trip to Nashville and said, “Thanks, but I think I’m just going to stay home. It’s too hard to roll my luggage in their airport.” What?!?! Don’t you DARE put this change on us like we’ve needed this. If you told me the carpet caught COVID and had to be replaced, I would’ve accepted that more than the “BUT ROLLY SUITCASES!” excuse.

If anything, that carpet provided me more laughs over the years than any other airport flooring in America.

Plus, how many times has a national article been written about the flooring at Midway, O’Hare, Kansas City, Atlanta, or even in the Illuminati’s lair underneath Denver’s airport? Never?

But at Nashville?

Is a little piece of my heart being ripped up with that carpet? No. My whole heart is. I feel a pain I haven’t felt since they converted the restaurant on top of the downtown Sheraton into an event space and stopped rotating it regularly.

So join me in a moment of silence and pour one out for the carpet tonight. In fact, pour one out on your carpet tonight.

BNA Carpet, we will never forget you. RIP in peace.

Since this is Nashville we’re talking about, I’ll leave you with a song.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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