Saturday, July 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

I Want To Dance With Somebody

I want to dance with somebody, and by somebody I mean one of these two people:

Emmitt Smith


Hines Ward


Usually men are afraid to dance.  Especially in public.  Especially on national television.  Especially when they are professional athletes.  Guess what.  Women love dancing.  Especially in public.  Especially on national television.  Especially when they are dancing with professional athletes.

Men. If you are a professional athlete or professional World of Warcraft wizard there are a few things (or two) (we aren’t that hard to win over) that can win a ladies’ heart.

Here are the secrets:

Secret Number One: Sending and or bringing her flowers.  Not fake ones.  Not ones you pull out of a hat.  Not ones that are in a hanging basket (as practical as those are).  But just a surprise for no reason bouquet of flowers.  This is a sure fire to win over a lady.  Even if your main source of income is Taco Bell.

Secret Number Two: Dancing.  No matter how bad at dancing you are, there is always a chance to practice without judgement at the local YMCA.  There are other opportunities to learn how to dance from other places like YouTube:

or from watching movies like

Dirty Dancing. The original or…

Dirty, Dirty Dancing
Dirty Dancing Havana Nights.

Or something like…

Stomp The Yard.

You don’t have to be Antonio Bandarras (but really if you are reading this Antonio, call a girl), but as long as you are putting out an effort like Kevin James in Hitch we will eat that junk up like we can eat up that molten lava cake at Chili’s.

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