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Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Hide Your Kids

I know we are busy and with all of the arts and crafts I’ve been working on lately I have barely had time to keep up with things like tournaments or lock outs or even those crazy Kardashians. (I have them DVR’d.)  I have instead taken a few opportunities to overhear some conversations about what is going on in the sports world around us.

This is what I’ve learned:

Did you know that Bruce Pearl got fired?  Yes.  First.  Who is Bruce Pearl?  I said it too, don’t worry. betrally  He is the now fired head coach of the University of Tennessee Men’s Basketball team.  Why?  Bruce decided to invite high school guys over to his house for dinner.  WHAT?!? Bruce, you’re lucky you just got fired. طريقة لعبة البوكر في الجزائر  You could have been asked by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to stay 500 feet away from any school property for the rest of time. Which would have made it even more difficult to coach basketball at a school.  Yikes.  Buy these kids a Corvette if you want them to come play for you.  Don’t invite them over for dinner, Creeps McGee.

Since BruceBruce will have more time for meet and greets with high schoolers, I thought I would make sure every mom out there knows a little about the man that might be inviting your teenage son over for a nice quiet dinner.

He does look constipated here, but Bruce was actually just an avid fan of Angels in the Outfield.

Baseball is his second love.  First love: Making dinner for your teenage son.

Don’t let this happen.

Bruce wears his heart on his sleeve.

(Somebody loves you too Bruce)

(Just not the NCAA or any high school boy basketball players)

If you notice this hand signal is pointed toward your son, move.

To another state.

Bruce only yells things that are important.


“Free Throw!”

“Fine, run the man to man defense, but that’s the last time I make you banana pudding for dessert”

“Jinx, you owe me a Coke.  Oh wait, why don’t you just come to my house and I’ll make you dinner.”

This is the double bonus part of the Brucey Beans scandal…It shouldn’t have even been Bruce Pearl that got the axe.  Guess who it should have been? موقع قمار اون لاين  The ATHLETIC DIRECTOR.  In the conservatory, with the lead pipe.  His name is Ron Hugginsmeiter. Just kidding it’s Mike Hamilton. First, that can’t be his real name and second, who even knows what an athletic director does and third, I have no idea why it’s his fault.  What’s important to know here, is that Mr. Hamilton (no, not the unknown singer/songwriter) is getting to keep his steady paycheck with regular office hours, while Bruce Pearl is left to sit in his ridiculous orange suit on his private beach behind his million dollar beach home while still getting the fired coach’s version of unemployment… $2 Million Dollars.  Bruce wins.

Oh, and I wonder if Bruce is finally going to ask Pat Summit out now that they don’t work together?

We can hope!

0 thoughts on “Hide Your Kids

  • Avatar
    March 28, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    He invited Pat Summit and all of her friends over for dinner. Soon after realizing that, in fact, it was middle aged women who were at Pearl’s house, NCAA officials apologized. One official was quoted as saying, “Our bad. It’s just like real hard to tell these days between high school boys and middle aged lesbians. Ya know?”

  • Avatar
    July 30, 2011 at 9:03 am

    An oversimplification don’t ya think?

    There was a lot more to it than just inviting kids over for dinner. Not that I’m glad to see Pearl go, but I’m not sorry about it either.

    Bruce and Pat…now that’s funny.

    – M

  • Avatar
    September 1, 2011 at 10:40 am

    This could be considered problematic depending on what Bruce served for dinner. You know, steak or Hamburger Helper. Besides, why pick on the guy for being passionate? (about sports, I hope)

  • Avatar
    September 24, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    I’m still wondering why Bruce got fired for inviting them over for dinner. Banana pudding sounds completely non-threatening to me (in fact, the idea of it is making me hungry for a snack right about now). Of course, it can’t be too bad for him if he’s getting millions of dollars and still gets to wear that loud orange suit while he collects the cash.

  • Avatar
    October 14, 2011 at 8:17 am

    I realize these coaches sign contracts, but seriously, how does one break the rules or not actually do the job and then are able to collect millions of dollars when they are fired? I was under the illusion if you did something illegal or didn’t do your job, you were out of luck and a job. I can’t reason why you would be rewarded with millions of dollars for it.


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