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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Has Will Compton Stolen The ‘Ridiculously Photogenic Football Player’ Crown?

Remember this guy?

Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

How can you forget, amirite?! This is Cam McDaniel, a former running back for Notre Dame. In 2013 during a game against USC, his helmet popped off, and he gave some overly-sensual Abercrombie model stare directly toward the camera lens of Jonathan Daniel of Getty Images. And at that moment, the legend of “Ridiculously Photogenic Football Player” was born.

And it lived for nearly seven years.

Until it died.

This week.

When the Tennessee Titans brought back America’s favorite third-string linebacker and special teams ace, William Theodore Compton. (His middle name isn’t Theodore. I actually don’t know what it is, but I just felt like it sounded better going with a three-name government right there.)

Just look at this man.

Ladies, I’ll give you a minute to fan yourselves. Fellas, I’ll give you a second to adjust your pants. But again, just look at this dude. I’m a happily married man, but I can still appreciate a face with proper symmetry, hair with just the right amount of flow, and a grin that exudes more happiness than the faces on the sides of Hiller Plumbing Trucks. In fact that smile is 19% happy to be back with the Titans and 81% happy because he knows how damn good he looks. LifeTouch couldn’t have staged a better picture than this.

Now look, is it kind of a tool move to tweet out just a photo of yourself with no caption? Absolutely. But if you had a photo of yourself where you looked HALF that good, you’d be tweeting it without a caption too. Hell, you’d make it your profile picture, your Twitter banner pic, and probably wait 4 hours in line at the DMV to see if they could make it your drivers license pic too. And nobody would blame you. Because attractive people can get away with that kind of behavior.

I ask you again to just look at him.

I’m secure enough to say it. Will Compton is a disgustingly good looking human. And here’s the kicker to any ladies who may be reading this? He also has a killer personality to match. How do I know? Because have you ever even heard his podcast Bussin’ With The Boys?! I rest my case.

So Cam McDaniel, take a seat. You’re no longer rocking “Ridiculously Photogenic Football Player” crown. I’m not sure what you’re doing right now. I imagine you’re probably in O’ahu doing a photoshoot for Hollister or something, but I do know you’re no longer playing football, thus meaning you don’t even qualify for the title anymore. Willy Teddy Compton is back in the sport, which means he now owns the crown.

So congrats to the new king. Stay handsome, your majesty.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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