Has It Been 4 Years Already?!

The 2010 World Cup is quickly approaching. It seems impossible to go anywhere in America and avoid a conversation about the prestigious event with a stranger. Everyone is talking about it. It brings people together that normally would have never become best friends otherwise. Before I begin my predictions, let me say one thing followed by a few more things. The nicknames of some of these great World Cup contenders are horrible.

The New Zealand All Whites – Unfortunately racism still exists in some capacity around the world, but discretion has not yet been invented in New Zealand.

South Africa “The Boys” – I was looking at the squad to find a picture of a man that could never be mistaken for a boy to show irony, and found that two of the players’ names are Innocent and Surprise.  I think “The Boys” will work just fine.

The Australia Socceroos – That is equivalent to the United States being named the USA Soccerdeer.  We get it Australia; you have a lot of kangaroos.


Netherlands “Oranje” – Apparently Dutch doesn’t deviate too far from English because guess what – their jerseys are orange.

Now that I have made myself feel better for being on a basketball team named the “Ke$ha’s Animals,” I can continue with my predictions. The United States looks to be the second best team in their group with England being the dominant squad. The other two teams in the group are Slovenia and Algeria. It is a round robin format so every team plays the others and the top two teams advance. Although I like the chances the United States has against England in the first game, I can’t help but think that Wayne Rooney and co. will get it done. This outcome will leave the USA with a bad taste in their mouth. Against Slovenia in the second game, Robbie Rogers of the US squad will get 1 assist and Clint Dempsey will score 2 goals to give the USA will win 2-0. After that much needed win, the Red, White and Blue will need at least a tie to advance. Luckily, men’s warehouse is having a sale.  Terrible Joke. The USA will not only tie, but get the W 2-1 against Algeria leaving no doubt that they will advance. Because my predictions are almost always accurate (there is still a chance Bette Midler makes a Hocus Pocus 2), we can all come together as Americans and celebrate what will likely happen in the opening round of the 2010 World Cup.  After that, it’s up for grabs.

2 thoughts on “Has It Been 4 Years Already?!

  • Avatar
    June 9, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    FYI…I think it is going to be extremely difficult for Robbie Rogers to notch an assist in the Slovenia game considering he did not make the final 23 man US roster. Also, before you jump to conclusions about race hating Kiwi’s, you should probably know that their Rugby team is known as the “All Blacks.” It has nothing to do with race.

  • Avatar
    June 9, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    I want to first apologize for adding Robbie Rogers to the 23 man roster. I don’t claim to be an expert on the World Cup, but there is an explanation for that error. Due to character constraints I won’t go into details. I do think you should know, however, that the posts made are meant to be entertaining and insightful. I am aware that the New Zealand squad name has nothing to do with race. For the sake of the joke I didn’t want to have to end it with “that was a joke,” so I may have been ignorant to assume the readers would figure that out themselves. Thank you for reading Korked Bats and I look forward to many more comments that cause my self esteem to plummet.


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