Happy Thanksgiving from your friends at Korked Bats!
Well boys and girls, it’s Thanksgiving which means one thing. Actually it means a lot of things. First of all, it means you are a heck of a loyal follower of Korked Bats if you are reading this and it its Thursday. It also means you are going to eat a bunch of good Cracker Barrel-ish food. You’re also going to see a bunch of relatives, give thanks, yadda yadda yadda. We all know the main reason Thanksgiving is one of the most looked forward to holiday.
You get to do this:
This year there will be 4 football games for your viewing pleasure. There will also be a few basketball games, but who watches basketball on Thanksgiving? That’s right, terrorists do. (There’s also a Taylor Swift special on NBC but I fear I may lose man points for admitting to the fact I’ll probably watch it. So don’t tell anyone.)
So here’s an extremely brief preview of the pigskin match ups you’ll probably be viewing this afternoon/night on your aunt’s smelly couch from the 80s.
(All times EST. Why? I don’t know. I live in Central and you probably do too, if you’re cool. But for some reason America likes to discriminate against all time zones not called “Eastern.” Racists.)
12:30 PM – CBS
New England Patriots vs. Detroit Lions
The Lions will probably lose a close one because they love losing. Tom Brady will have metro-sexual hair and play the quarterback position well.
Patriots 27 – Lions 21
4:15 PM – Fox
New Orleans Saints vs. Dallas Cowboys
Drew Brees and the Saints will destroy the catastrophic failure known as the 2010 Dallas Cowboys. Jon Kitna will have no hair and play the quarterback position poorly.
Saints 31 – Cowboys 13
8:00 PM – ESPN
17 Texas A&M Aggies vs. Texas Longhorns
I haven’t seen either of these teams play this year, but I do know Texas is horrible for some reason. It’s kind of understandable when you consider its tough to recruit top football talent in the lowly state of Texas…
Aggies 20 – Longhornes 14
8:20 PM – NFL Network
Cincinatti Bengals vs. New York Jets
This game you probably won’t see because most people don’t get NFL Network, especially your aunt Beverly. The Jets will destroy Pac-Man, Ochocinco, TO, and the rest of the Bengals. And Rex Ryan will probably be eating leftovers the whole time.
Bengals 10 – Jets 28
If any of these score predictions is remotely close I’ll be very surprised. I’m horrible at predicting games.