Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Happy Holidays

So there I was, sitting in my kitchen. Once again caught in the dilemma of how many bowls of Corn Flakes I have to eat to equal one bowl of Total. When all of a sudden, my phone begins to vibrate. “Mom, stop texting me from the other room.” I initially thought to myself. Much to my surprise however, it wasn’t my mother. It was my old childhood best friend sending me a text message.

Now, you must know, that somehow over the years we have developed a love/hate relationship with each other. All we do is constantly put each other down. Or bash on each other’s sports teams. All in fun… most of the time.

On this day, my friend, Rob, wanted to inform me of a trade rumor in which he more than likely has no reliable source at all. In fact, he probably just completely made it up.

Here is what he sent:

Rob Queener:
Braves are going to sign roy halladay and matt holliday.

Now, I was not in the mood to start a text message chain of how wrong he was in this claim. Just to get the response of how right he is and how it could work out. There is absolutely no way the Braves will land either of these players. Like George Foreman for Meineke, “I guarantee it!”

But instead of starting any unnesecary sports banter, I responded with a joke.

Here was my joke:

Austin (Me):
And then Madonna for her song, ‘Holiday’.

Thinking the conversation ended there I went on with my dilemma. However, I was surprised to see that Robbie made a joke of his own.

And then cameron diaz from “the holiday”

I couldn’t end there, there are just too many options for me to take this. So I took the challenge and responded.

Here is the rest of our conversation:

And then they will pick up Kris Kringle from free agency.

And then the easter bunny from waivers.

And then they are moving their franchise to Holiday World in Indiana.

In which the stadium will be named after their newest sponsor: holiday inn.

They want to build a winning team so they can qualify for the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl.

Ok, that last one didn’t make much sense. It was just the last holiday reference I could think of.

I know this might possibly be the most pointless post we have ever had, but heck, who doesn’t love a text message conversation with as many “Holiday” references in it as possible? I know Chevy Chase does!


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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