Going… Going… Gaga!

The one thing that is most synonymous with the game of baseball is Lady Gaga.

Kinda.

Well… actually the more I think about it, it’s not.

However, apparently no one with New York Yankees stadium security realized that either. Last Friday following the New York Yankees’ loss to their cross city rival, Mets, Lady Gaga talked her way past security to get in the Yankees’ Clubhouse immediately after the game.

But not to worry, she didn’t go back there alone. She brought with her three friends: two of her girlfriends and a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey.

As if Lady Gaga with a bottle of whiskey and two of her girlfriends wasn’t enough of a distraction, Gaga was clothed (or unclothed as anyone other than Adam and Eve would call it) in a black bra, black bikini bottom, fishnet stockings, and to show her love for the Bronx Bombers, a partially buttoned Yankees jersey.

In the words of the late great Billy Mays, “But wait, there’s more!”

Gaga’s behavior in the locker room consisted of her slurring words when claiming how thrilled she was to be in there. And what would a Lady Gaga run-in be without her groping her chest over her jersey.

Oh, Gaga… What a hoot! (Pun not intended.)

Not even the media, who is usually allowed in 10 minutes following the final pitch of the game, was allowed into the locker room.

After dealing with the whole situation, Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman stated, “There is just a time and a place. It is not her fault.”

I’m sorry, Cash. But when exactly is it the time and place for a girl as weird unique as Lady Gaga to be mingling with your ball players wearing nothing but a bra, bikini bottoms, fishnet stockings and a half buttoned Yankees jersey? The only time that this ordeal wouldn’t be out of place is in the middle of the night on a street corner in the Red Light District. (Which let’s face it, Gaga may be even too weird for that scene.)

Now she isn’t banned from the house that Ruth built the house that construction workers built two years ago. She is permanently banned from the Yankees Clubhouse. Talk about a “Bad Romance.”

However, the Yankees may want to rethink their ruling against Gaga. (That sentence would sound so much sillier if this were 5 years ago. “Ruling against Gaga.” That just sounds so funny.) The Yankees went on to win their next two game against the Metropolitans to take the series.

However, this isn’t Gaga’s first time to cause trouble around a New York City baseball team. Which is surprising when you think about it, a classy young lady who dresses so respectfully such as herself. Shocking, really.

On June 10th, Lady Gaga attended a Padres vs. Mets game at Citi Field in New York. Gaga showed up a little late but was lucky enough to make it for 5th inning (obviously she didn’t realize that she WASN’T at a Dodgers game). She had front row seats, but apparently that didn’t make Gaga happy. It made Gaga angry. You don’t like Gaga when she’s angry.

So she did what any psychotic and “different” pop culture icon would do, she threw a tantrum and cussed out nearby photographers. Apparently, she’s not a fan of “Paparazzi.” (Last Gaga song reference, I promise.) She then forced the Mets to move her up to Jerry Seinfeld’s luxury box. Basically making her a double dipper with seats. If she knew anything about Jerry Seinfeld, she would know that he doesn’t like double dippers.

Shortly after moving seats, she felt like her ruckus causing was missing a little something so she flipped off the crowd. She must have learned that etiquette from all the débutante balls she attended growing up.

In response to Gaga’s unexpected appearance in the Yankee locker room, Yankee’s second baseman Robinson Cano said, “She can sing, I’ll tell you that.”

Thanks for that brilliant insight, Robbie. That statement is about as bold as one of Gaga’s outfits, who I’m nearly certain are designed by a blind guy who hates the world.

When asked about his teammate Alex Rodriguez who reportedly hung out Gaga later that night, Cano probably said, “Let me tell you something, Alex sure knows how to play baseball.”