God Chooses McElroy To Start Apocolypse Over Tebow

HEAVEN – In a controversial decision, the universe’s highest deity, God, has decided to have Greg McElroy start the Apocalypse over Tim Tebow.

“Let’s be honest, so far, this Apocalypse has been a let down,” God said around midday on Friday, December 21st, 2012. “I need someone who will get it started, already.”

This decision comes on the heels of the New York Jets also choosing to start McElroy over Tebow this Sunday… if we make it that far.

“Do I think Greg can handle it?” God asked. “Well, he did survive four years of playing under Nick Saban at Alaba.. Excuse me, Nick Satan at Alabama. I’m pretty confident he can handle anything.”

The Great I Am did get a hold of Tebow to let him know His decision first hand.

“He’s always trying to call on me, so it wasn’t a problem getting a hold of him. I told him my decision. He seemed disappointed, but all he said was, ‘You bless.’ then hung up,” God explained. Tim Tebow could not be reached for further comment.

The Sky Daddy told us He hopes to have the Apocalypse started by the end of the workday on Friday or worst case scenario, late evening Saturday. He also said, he doesn’t expect McElroy to “buttfumble this opportunity away unlike some people…”

Yeah, He actually said that. God said buttfumble.

Like the Jets, The Big Guy didn’t seem too confident in Mark Sanchez, either.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t even trust Mark Sanchez with my landscaping,” The Creator of the Heavens and The Earth said.

However, God said He may still have a plan to use Tebow.

“If I decide to punt the decision altogether, I’ll use Tim as a protector.”

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

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