ONE LAST RIDE! Here Are Gator’s Best NFL Picks On The Internet – Week 17

As an Eagles fan, the football season is over. What a horrible year it’s been. Luckily, now it’s a new year (not football, but close enough). I won’t be watching any of these games, but here’s how they’ll play out just in case you want to watch them. Also looking back, I highly suggest not trying to pick every single game. It is truly exhausting.

Vikings @ Lions (MIN -4.5)

In one of the many games that don’t matter this week, two NFC North teams square off in what is more of a formality than an exciting football game. Stafford will probably not be playing and if the Vikings were smart they’d sit Cousins too. Not to preserve his health, but just because he stinks and shouldn’t be a starting quarterback.

PICK: Vikings 25, Lions 24

Cowboys @ Giants (DAL -1.5)

Both of these teams started off the season 2-7…. Yet here they both are with a chance to win the division in Week 17. Truly the most disgusting story of the season is the dreadful NFC East. Anyways, the last thing anyone wants to see is the Cowboys in the playoffs. For the sake of America, the Giants win.

PICK: Cowboys 13, Giants 24

Steelers @ Browns (CLE -9.5)

In what can only be described as the most Browns thing of all time, they lost last week against the Jets to put their playoff chances in jeopardy. Yes, the Steelers will be sitting Big Ben, but this could be problematic for the Browns. When Myles Garrett sees Rudolph on the field, he might lose his cool and decide to finish the job. Rudolph gets knocked out in the first half, but Garrett gets ejected from the game which costs the Browns who lose and miss the playoffs. Classic Cleveland.

PICK: Steelers 31, Browns 20

Dolphins @ Bills (BUF -1.5)

In what can only be described as unbelivable, the only AFC East matchup that matters on Sunday does not involve the Patriots. No matter how bad this year has been it’s been amazing to revel in the misery that the Patriots have suffered this year. What’s also has been fun is the Fitzmagic! Yes, he’s out this week with COVID, but the ghost of Fitz will help Tua find the win he needs to get Miami into the playoffs.

PICK: We all win!

Jets @ Patriots (NE -3)

Speaking of the Patriots! Wow! They really are horrendous. They don’t have a quarterback on the roster who can throw the ball further than 10 yards down the field. On the other side of the field, the Jets were on pace to be the worst team ever, until they decided not to be. I predict they end the season with a 3 game winning streak after starting the season with a 13 game losing streak. That seems fitting.

PICK: Jets 31, Patriots 23

Falcons @ Buccaneers (TB -6.5)

Looks like Tom Brady is about to get the last laugh, as he’s taking Tampa to the playoffs, while the Patriots have to watch the post season from their couch. Tough break for America, but we will recover. On the other side, the Falcons have had another tough year, obviously still not having recovered from that Super Bowl they lost 4 years ago. However! In this meaningless game, Matty Ice gets some revenge on Brady. Too bad it doesn’t mean anything.

PICK: Falcons 30, Bucs 27

Ravens @ Bengals (BAL -13.5)

The Ravens are still not a lock to make the playoffs, but the league’s hottest team is one win away from punching their ticket. There’s no reason to think that this game will be close, as after Lamar’s #2 incident, he’s out to prove to the league that he’s #1. The only way for the world to forget about that crappy situation is if he wins a Super Bowl so you know he’s extra motivated.

PICK: Ravens 35, Bengals 6

Titans @ Texans (TEN -7.5)

The Titans have a pretty simple formula on Sunday, win and they’re AFC South champs. Lose, and if things break the wrong way they could miss the playoffs entirely. That’s a lot of pressure, but it’s kind of hard to mess up just handing off the ball to Henry. I don’t think they’ll blow out Houston who got called out in a J.J. Watt press conference, but they’ll win for sure.

PICK: Titans 24, Texans 20

Packers @ Bears (GB -4)

Believe it or not, the Bears actually have a chance to make the playoffs after having a 6-game losing streak in the middle of their season. The Packers are locked in as the 1-seed, so you’d expect them to rest some players, but they do hate the Bears and could just decide to destroy their season. I want to believe that a team with a 6-game losing streak shouldn’t be in the playoffs, but it’s 2020, so I fully expect the Bears to win and sneak in.

PICK: Packers 20, Bears 23

Seahawks @ 49ers (SEA -6.5)

Another game that doesn’t really matter. The Seahawks are in, the 49ers are out. Pete Carrol gets to laugh at Richard Sherman, and the 49ers get to question that giant contract they gave to Jimmy G. Although it doesn’t matter, this is still a big rivalry game, and I expect it to be close. Seahawks win, but don’t cover.

PICK: Seahawks 27, 49ers 25

Chargers @ Chiefs (LAC -4)

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief when I saw that the Chargers were favored against the Chiefs on the road. Then I remembered that the Chiefs have locked up the 1-seed and will probably be resting all of their starters. Now would be the perfect time for Herbert to get his first and probably only career win agains the Chiefs. However, I think they somehow choke it away.

PICK: Chargers 31, Chiefs 34

Jaguars @ Colts (IND -14.5)

The Jaguars successfully finished their tank job last week. In a game that had their own fans cheering the opposing team for scoring touchdowns, the Jaguars solidified their top pick, and will most likely draft Trevor Lawrence. So much for Minshew Mania. *shrug* The Colts, on the other hand, need a win to get into the playoffs (and a little help). I’m already predicting that the Browns will lose, so fortunately for the Colts, they won’t have the dubious distinction of wining 11 games and still missing the playoffs.

PICK: Jaguars 10, Colts 34

Saints @ Panthers (NO -5.5)

This is yet another game that doesn’t really mean anything. Nobody ever talks about how 80% of games on Week 17 might as well be preseason games. Oh well, I’m not gonna waste too much time on it. Saints win on a field goal in the end.

PICK: Saints 34, Panthers 31

Football Team @ Eagles (WAS -4)

Well, this year has been a disaster. Now that we’re eliminated, the Eagles win by losing. In a rare moment, it’s best for the team to just lie down and take a dive. Also, if they lose, they guarantee that Dallas is eliminated. That would be a nice parting gift for the season. For those reasons, I’m picking against the Birds for the first time all season. It hurts now, but it’s for their own good.

PICK: Football Team 28, Eagles 17