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Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

GameSpot’s Review Of ‘Godzilla Vs. Kong’ Sucked, So Here’s A Better One

Just want to start this off by saying that if you go into a movie called Godzilla Vs. Kong where a radioactive, fire-breathing dinosaur fights a giant gorilla and you’re expecting a halfway-intelligent script or a set of human characters who act like thinking beings, well, that’s on you.

Kong is a King. So put some damn respect in his name and his movies. I haven’t seen royalty disrespected this bad since Meghan and Harry’s Oprah interview. All I’m saying is, don’t be looking for some sort of Good Will Hunting screenplay in a movie that’s marketed over two monsters fighting each other.

That’s like complaining about the steak at a Waffle House. If you’re ordering a steak at Waffle House, you have to know what you’re doing. Also, please never eat at a Waffle House again, because people probably don’t like being around you.

You probably saw this review floating around the internet yesterday. Just beyond idiotic for some Gene Siskel wannabe to try and critique Godzilla Vs. Kong for lacking depth. So I decided to write my own review for this film. Have I seen it yet? Does that matter? This is the Internet. Most of it’s fake anyway. So without further adieu, my review for Godzilla Vs. Kong.

In Godzilla vs. Kong, a giant lizard and a giant ape fight–and that’s the best thing we can say about it. If you’re expecting a halfway-intelligent script or a set of human characters who act like thinking beings, you’ll be disappointed. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as here’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run, and so that’ll make it a 4–nothing ballgame. I don’t know if I’m going to be putting on this headset again.

A review of Godzilla Vs. Kong by Austin

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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