Gameday Grub Of The Week: Kingsbury Pie Bites
In this week’s edition of Gameday Grub, we’re serving up an adorable little treat that will warm your heart and hug your soul during Sunday night’s matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals: Kingsbury Pie Bites.
The likes of the NFL’s own Gosling, Cardinals head coach Kliff Kingsbury, will be front and center, so we wanted to give you something just as delicious as those dreamy eyes, perfect hair, and arresting smile. Like Kingsbury, we’re getting sweet on you, KB Army.
Kingsbury Pie Bites
Now, you can use any berry for this recipe, but choose a berry that best allows for a beautiful finished product. Let Kingsbury’s striking stare inspire you to bake with passion, get creative, and deliver something to your guests that will have them wanting to kiss the cook.
To get the most out these sexy little confections, you’ll need the following items.
Specific equipment/materials:
- 1 ½” biscuit cutter
- Pastry brush
- Baking sheet
- Framed photo of Kingsbury (for inspiration and constant eye candy)
- For extra inspiration, attach photos of Kyler Murray and Russell Wilson to teddy bears for cuddling your way through baking time.
Ingredients:
- 1 refrigerated pie crust
- 40–50 berries, depending on size
- 1/8 cup raw sugar
- 1 egg and 1 tsp. water (egg wash)
- A small handful of flour for working surface
- 1 giggle for every bite created
Directions:
- Place framed photo of Kingsbury in a commonly viewed area around your work space and preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Utter a cute little giggle for good luck.
- Lightly flour your work surface and unroll your refrigerated pie crust. Using your biscuit cutter, cut out your pie bite circles one by one. Do it slowly, do it sensually, do it while you fawn over Kingsbury’s unblemished skin.
- Place 1 or 2 berries in the center of each circle like you’re making the perfect play call for Murray to throw a perfect dime to DeAndre Hopkins. Delicately sprinkle a pinch of sugar on each, and watch the shimmering crystals fall over the fresh, bulbous berries.
- Fold up two sides of each circle. Then fold up the adjacent sides and pinch the corners. Your goal is to make a cozy little pocket for each berry. Protect those little hugable portions of sweetness.
- Brush each bite with the egg wash (you could use your fingers for this for enhanced sensuality). Place each bite on your baking sheet and emit a soft giggle after doing so for each bite.
- Sprinkle with a little more sugar and bake for about 10 minutes.
- While baking, grab either your framed photo of Kingsbury or your Murray and Wilson teddy bears, and cuddle up on the couch. Hold your chosen item tight while you smell those little berry bites baking to perfection.
- Once the bites are done baking, pull them out of the oven slowly and present them to your guests. Let them know they’re to be enjoyed for about 30 minutes apiece, but don’t be surprised if the whole yield lasts about 2 minutes.
This recipe will have your guests swooning over you and your skills in the bedro—KITCHEN. When you harness your inner hunk, it shows, just as Kingsbury will display his sheer attractiveness across the Sunday Night Football airwaves. Bake your heart out, eat your feelings, and enjoy the greatest show on grass—on the home team’s sideline.
Good grubbin’, KB Army!
