Saturday, July 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Foul Play

Now that football is officially over for a few months, I am sure that most of you have had to resort to other forms of sports entertainment.  You probably have have caught a few baseball games (If you’re Austin, you attended a preseason Dodgers games instead of hitting the Vegas strip on one of two nights in Las Vegas over spring break), maybe a hockey playoff game, or even a little bit of NBA. I know that  I have probably written too many NBA posts and that I am in the minority of its viewers (white), but this time I have some legitimate beef with David Stern and his white-striped cronies…

You are calling WAY too many fouls!

Games are already starting too late for most East Coast viewers and due to the ridiculous amount of foul calls, some games are extending until 1 AM or later. It seems that all you have to do is look at LeBron for you to foul him. The Zebras finally need to listen to that random drunk guy at every sporting event (including a few of our fathers at Little League Games) and “Let ’em play, ref!”

Since my first ever YMCA league basketball game, I have learned to hate the “foul.” Especially when it is against the team I am cheering for. However, I have spent numerous federal grants and years of  research to find that “foul” is just a general term. It varies widely between sports and is even used outside of the sporting world. So allow me to share with you the different kinds of “fouls.”

Fouls in the NBA

The most common one is the basic “personal foul.”  But what exactly is a personal foul? It depends on the man in the stripes. One ref may let the players slap each other in the balls (I’m looking at you, Lakers refs) and the next one won’t let players breathe on each other. Then another will go and foul every player on the team he bet against.  Personal fouls are very subjective and are slowly ruining the sport.

There are also technical fouls.  These are usually very humorous and/or reserved for Rasheed Wallace.

(Can’t See Me)

Fouls in the Hollywood

See posters above.

(Can’t See Me)

Fouls in the MLB

Baseball has a different type of foul, called the “foul ball.”  This is when a player hits the ball outside of the designated foul lines. These are similar to other fouls because they make the game last longer, but they are different because the batter receives very little punishment for them.

Fun Fact: Hall of Famer Luke Appling once hit 14 straight foul balls into the stands to get even with a team owner who would not give him two extra game passes for friends.  Needless to say, the owner let Appling’s friends  attend the next game.

(Can’t See Me)

F.O.W.L.s in Cartoons

The Fiendish Organization for World Larceny is a group of villains from the TV show Dark Wing Duck.  You don’t wanna mess with those guys.  If you see trouble, you call D.W.

(Can’t See Me)

Fouls in the NFL  (Besides This Picture)

The NFL also has a “personal foul,” but the refs in this league are a bit more lenient than the NBA.  Players receive a personal foul for interfering with passes, roughing kickers, or for being named Chad OchoCinco. One thing that is unique about an NFL foul is that you can easily get away with them.  One thing un-unique about NFL fouls, they also have cry babies.

3 thoughts on “Foul Play

  • Avatar
    April 28, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    I like the NBA portion you add to this site Chip, because otherwise I wouldn’t know what was going on in the league other than Lebron and Kobe are basketball gods. Also glad to see grant money hard at work, I am tired of nerds using it to study the mating effects of Meerkats and their affect on the National GDP and stuff like that.

    Fouls in the NBA are like the Strike Zone in the MLB, subjective on the Ref and Ump. Unfortunately its part of the game, as frustrating as it is. Now if we can only get NBA Refs to make traveling calls, all would be right in the world.

  • Avatar
    May 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    sweet jesus. That last link is hilariously awesome.

  • Avatar
    November 7, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    I really think that more often than not fouls are unfair and given too much for anyone or anybody who couldn’t bear the thought of it so. I seem to don’t trust referees.


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