Football Is A Woman’s Sport

I have been thinking about football. And how lady-like it is.

Let’s look at the cold hard facts. Have you ever noticed any resemblance between jeggings and the pants that football players wear? Let me give you an example:

Looks an awful lot like:

What about Ole Miss?

Ole Miss sounds a LOT like Old Maid.

Any Old Maid fans out there?

Remember that card game?

You didn’t want to be the old maid much like how you don’t want to be Ole Miss now.

Are they even in the SEC?

Or are they one of those new PAC 10 teams?

Seriously, even Heidi Montag thinks there has been a lot of realignment lately.

And I am an Oregon fan just like the next person, but I think Nike has gotten a little out of control with these uniforms:

These football players are going to get all sorts of injuries. These new uniforms might seem to be more aerodynamic, but there is no strong evidence one way or another.

Mascots?

Has any man ever really thought about mascots?

Who really came up with the idea for mascots?

Giant stuffed animals?

Bears?

Foxes?

Puppies?

Cowboys?

Indians?

Tigers?

Lumberjacks?

This has the lady-print all over it.

Sure, put a man in the costume and have them to pushups and fist pumps, but in the end, you’re still just a giant stuffed animal.

A giant stuffed animal with a name and a cleaning service.

Do you think that stuffed animals talk when you go out of the room?

There are times when I am sure that football players are no longer concerned about football and more concerned about practicing for their self-defense classes. When I took self defense, I learned a lot of these moves to protect myself in case of an attack and so I have a very trained eye. Now, the important thing to understand here, is that my self defense class was all women and one odd man.

I guess football players are consistently trying to keep up with the Self Defense Handbook.

It’s either self defense or a tickle fight.

Either way it’s very lady-like.

Listen. I am not saying that Football isn’t manly, at it’s very core. I am saying that I can put reasonable doubt in your mind that football is strong enough for a woman, PH Balanced for men. We have had a very significant role in football and we are all just lucky they haven’t figured out a way to have a Ladies Football League. Because hold on to your butts if that happens. You think arena football is huge? This would be even bigger and more aggressive… at least one weekend a month.

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @LadiesRoomKB – Or follow Erin, The Ladies Room writer: @erinmcgown

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