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Saturday, April 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

First Lady Fan of Kentucky

I have doing some research on lady fans. After all, considering my bad hip and my complete focus on playing the trombone as opposed to any of the three or four sports I’m really good at, it seems that being a fan is where I need to focus my attention. Being a lady fan is more tricky than it seems. You don’t want to come across as being “too crazy” about sports. You might not want to spend a majority of your time memorizing how many dollars per yard Chris Johnson earned this year. You might not want to spend a lot of money on your favorite team’s Snuggie. (Or just any Snuggie for that matter.) You might not want to sit on the sidelines and make googly eyes at the leading rebounder. I want you to be a good lady fan. And I believe I’ve found a good example.

Ashley Judd.

Ashley knows what is going on. She knows when it’s okay to be mad. She knows when it’s okay to make a face like she is either having contractions or just finding out that Johnny Depp really is neither a pirate nor British. She knows enough to feel confident in sitting right in the middle of the visiting team and scream at the top of her lungs. She has stuff that those boys need to hear, no matter the cost. No matter if she accidentally poops her pants due to the amount of pushing she is enduring.

She shows her spirit in more than wearing her team colors. She is willing to sit on a man’s shoulder and sing about the Kentucky Wildcats. This is a risky move for most lady fans, but when you have the wildcat cheerleaders backing you up, it’s a risk you better take.

Ashley Judd is a great lady fan because she invites the people that she loves to watch her favorite team. It just so happens that when Ashley Judd invites people that she loves, they are really large country music stars. Not like size-large, Wynonna. I mean like, big hair and big voice and big career. Gingers have to stick together. As a lady, this is a perfect time to invite your sisters or your girlfriends to see what the fuss is all about. If they love you, they will at least let you watch the end of the game and pretend like they are kind of interested.

And lady fans always always always make friends with the mascot.

This is important for good photo-ops and for having a friend that you can let you borrow a sweet Halloween costume. You have a friend that you can invite to your kids pee-wee games to get the wave going. You have a friend who can most likely do flips and carry you up the stairs when you fall asleep on the couch. Or even just a friend to do pushups whenever something good happens.

I’m sure that Ashley isn’t the only awesome lady fan, but for now, I am going to mirror my love for sports after her. Although, I am going to try and mirror my film and music career after Dolly Parton. But that’s just a side project, don’t worry.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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