One thing I learned while playing girls basketball is that your game face is nearly as important as making sure your legs are cleanly shaven. Some of the game faces that I am about to show you have some important information for you to consider while working on your own game face. Oh and getting a game face is actually important. They are important not only in sports but in regular life as well. Good places to use a game face: That moment in the grocery store when you are scoping out the shortest and most time efficient line, when a girl on the dance team is making eyes at your man, or when your dentist starts asking personal questions about how many times a day you floss. Who even flosses anymore? Am I Right?
Woodland Creature Game Face
Is this rabbit yelling or is it really tired? Either way, this rabbit is horrifying. If this rabbit tries to block my shot at the three point line, he wins. He can take the ball and run home, because if I see this game face, my heart just stopped beating and scenes from Pet Cemetery are there when I close my eyes. This game face wins every time. I wouldn’t say this game face will help you win any beauty pagents, but then again, I wouldn’t vote against this for anything.
• • •
Boxer Inspired Game Face
This baby’s hero may or may not be Mike Tyson. Knowing this information, this baby’s game face makes more sense. I can hear you asking why does this baby need a game face? What kind of life has this baby already started that involves this early need of a face tat and a grill? This face says, “I don’t care what you say, I’m going to chew your ear off.” Am I going to let this baby eat my ear? Yes. Because maybe if I give the baby an inch, it will be so busy that I can escape before it takes its mile. Even this Mike Tyson baby isn’t going to be able to catch me.
• • •
Ginger Game Face
Red heads game faces are often lacking in ferocity, but what they lack in facial intensity they make up for in verbal sparring capabilities. Don’t let the fair skin and angel kisses lead you believe that gingers can’t hold their own. As my mom always told me, “Never underestimate the power of a redhead.” I would say that this particular face is going to make playing poker a little more challenging. Does he have a full house or an old popcorn kernel stuck in his gums?
• • •
Girl Game Face
This girl is showing a different approach to the game face. As you can see, she has decided that her breath will be offensive enough to do the work of a solid game face. This is a risky move. Only choose this option if you have exhausted the previous. This is clearly a face that can and will get stuck.
• • •
Dead Girl In The Closet From The Ring Game Face
This is a prime example of what happens if you “game face” too hard. Pros: You have a game face so fierce that not even the guys at the morgue want to mess with you. Cons: You’re dead, it’s the last game face you’ll ever make, and your sitting in a puddle of your own urine. And no one wants to clean that up.
• • •
Kobe Game Face
You know I had to put a picture of Kobe Bryant looking like he was constipated as his game face. This face was probably after Phil Jackson once again reminded him that he will never be as good as Michael. Never. Kobe, put the snarl game face away. Nobody is scared.
(Take a moment to refer back to Woodland Creature Game face. I think we found his inspiration.)
Please practice your game face in the mirror just like you practice singing Katy Perry songs or dancing to Beyonce songs. You never know when you will need to have any of these things ready.