Final Lines Jim Nantz Should Use At The Masters
CBS Sports broadcaster Jim Nantz is known for being the voice of The Masters, but even more known for coming up with ridiculous, pun-filled one-liners after someone wins.
We decided to help Jim out by coming up with some lines for him to use at this year’s Masters.
If Jordan Spieth wins…
“He’s got himself a Spieth of history!”
“Another championship for Air Jordan”
“Younger guys always have fewer strokes than older guys, and that was the case today for the healthy Jordan Spieth.”
“He’s of legal drinking age, so they’ll be celebrating at the Spieth Easy tonight!”
“After a weekend of providing SPARKS, the green jacket goes to JORDAN. Enjoy it, young man, as we SING YOUR PRAISES!”
“He is Twenty-one, and no he has twenty won!”
“Call him ‘Spieth 2’ because he’s on Cruise Control.”
“Give Spieth a chance.”
“Spieth Softly, and carry a big stick.”
“It’s as Spiethy as Sunday morning.”
If Justin Rose wins…
“Just-Win Rose!”
“Roses are best, violets are blue.”
“Never let go, Rose! This is a Titanic win in your career.”
“The azaleas here at Augusta are in full bloom, but so are the Rose’s!”
“And your new Masters champion is Rose The Riveter. He Can Do It!”
If Phil Mickelson wins…
“It Phils good to be Mickelson.”
“And the new Phil-osophy pays off.”
“The LEFT hander is the only man LEFT standing.”
“That’s a rap! Go ahead and call him Masters P.”
“Look at this photograph. Because Mickel’s back.”
If Charley Hoffman wins…
“Trevor Hoffman is baseball greatest closer, and Charley Hoffman just became golf’s greatest closer.”
“Don’t hassel the Hoff, man!”
“What the Chuck?! Hoffman gets the green!”
“Julio, get the stretch. Chuck-town funk you up!”
“O’Charley! What a roll to victory!”
If Kevin Na wins…
“Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye!”
“Na Way Jose!”
“Is anyone else going to win the Masters or Na?”
“Everyone forgot about Kevin, and now he’s bringing the green jacket Home… Alone.”
“On the Periodic Table, Na is known as Sodium and has an atomic number of 11. On the Masters Leaderboard, Na is known as champion and has an atomic number of 1. It’s science.”
If Tiger Woods wins…
“Woods You Believe it? Tiger wins his fifth green jacket!”
“The eye of the Tiger is on the prize.”
“Tiger Woods pleads the fifth!”
“He’s done it. Tiger’s first-win since Elin.”
“He’s a man on the streets, a freak in the sheets, and a champion in the golf cleats.”
“Glutes Activated!”
“Being on top is Tiger’s new favorite position!”
“Winner winner, Perkins dinner.”
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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff
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